Tuesday, 1 December 2009

SHOVE YOUR INDEPENDENCE UP YOUR ARSE-I'M MOVING TO ENGLAND!


Scottish Television has been running a competition which concluded tonight on who was "THE GREATEST SCOT".  We had 35 nominations from all sorts of categories, The Arts, Medicine, Inventors, Sportspeople Historic Leaders and Philanthropists to name a few.

The Competition was won by RABBIE BURNS with WILLIAM WALLACE in second place.  Fair enough you might say.  Not my choice but I could see why they were chosen.

But who was voted by the SCOTTISH PUBLIC INTO FIFTH PLACE.

Rennie McIntosh, Robert Louis Stevenson, John Logie Baird, Alexander Graham Bell, Carnegie, Simpson, even Sean Connery.  No, NONE OF THESE!  In  FIFTH PLACE WAS, David Tennant.

WHO, I HEAR YOU CRY!  YES.  DAVID TENNANT.  That bug-eyed twat who played fucking DOCTOR WHO.  My fucking, brainwashed countrymen voted for some actor who has played one part in his life, on television.  THAT IS WHY, I AM CONSIDERING LEAVING.

At this rate we'll choose our FIRST MINISTER from  an edition of CELEBRITY COME DANCING!

6 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Rabbie Burns was nothing but a drunken whore maister.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, fuck off. He's a relation of mine. (or so my mother told me):-0> Speaking of Whore maisters, how's Jaimsie Cotter keeping.

Edgar said...

OK, most of the time I have no idea what I'm trying to say because most of the time I'm trying NOT to say what I would say if I didn't try so hard not to say it. for example:

One thing bothers me about the Scottish independence thing. Who gets to be Scottish nationals?

My mother is Scottish: would that get me a Jockular passport, then? What about the 50 million expatriate Scotophiles, like Scunnert? All happy members of the Porridge and Haggis Clan? What about all the slightly less dark babies around the world in countries that have been guests of the Regiment of the Black Watch or the Aberdeen Bird-watchers' Club?

I'm being fatuous, of course, but has anyone actually thought this through?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Edgar, I suppose first of all, people living in Scotland would be Scottish and could vote in a Scottish referendum on independence. But after that, you've made a very good point, who would be considered Scottish. Would people like yourself have dual-nationality, I don't know but it is worth blogging about.

The Hammond said...

I like Doctor Who... but then I'm English!

Dark Lochnagar said...

The Hammond, I'm sure the boy was very good, not that I watched it but one of the greatest Scospeople EVER, no chance!