The Competition was won by RABBIE BURNS with WILLIAM WALLACE in second place. Fair enough you might say. Not my choice but I could see why they were chosen.
But who was voted by the SCOTTISH PUBLIC INTO FIFTH PLACE.
WHO, I HEAR YOU CRY! YES. DAVID TENNANT. That bug-eyed twat who played fucking DOCTOR WHO. My fucking, brainwashed countrymen voted for some actor who has played one part in his life, on television. THAT IS WHY, I AM CONSIDERING LEAVING.
At this rate we'll choose our FIRST MINISTER from an edition of CELEBRITY COME DANCING!