SHOVE YOUR INDEPENDENCE UP YOUR ARSE-I'M MOVING TO ENGLAND!

Scottish Television has been running a competition which concluded tonight on who was "THE GREATEST SCOT".  We had 35 nominations from all sorts of categories, The Arts, Medicine, Inventors, Sportspeople Historic Leaders and Philanthropists to name a few.

The Competition was won by RABBIE BURNS with WILLIAM WALLACE in second place.  Fair enough you might say.  Not my choice but I could see why they were chosen.

But who was voted by the SCOTTISH PUBLIC INTO FIFTH PLACE.

Rennie McIntosh, Robert Louis Stevenson, John Logie Baird, Alexander Graham Bell, Carnegie, Simpson, even Sean Connery.  No, NONE OF THESE!  In  FIFTH PLACE WAS, David Tennant.

WHO, I HEAR YOU CRY!  YES.  DAVID TENNANT.  That bug-eyed twat who played fucking DOCTOR WHO.  My fucking, brainwashed countrymen voted for some actor who has played one part in his life, on television.  THAT IS WHY, I AM CONSIDERING LEAVING.

At this rate we'll choose our FIRST MINISTER from  an edition of CELEBRITY COME DANCING!