Monday 7 December 2009

NEW SPEAKER BERCOW ACCUSED OF WRITING SEX GUIDE!



Commons Speaker John Bercow is allegedly the author of a guide to luring drunken women into bed.


Reports claiming that he had penned the The John Bercow Guide to Understanding Women were surfacing at Westminster last night.  Published in a magazine for young Tories in 1986, its tips included the advice that "women will settle for anything that breathes and has a credit card".  As a chat-up line, it suggested: "If you're free later maybe we could go back to your place and name your breasts."  The article, which appeared in a low-circulation publication called Armageddon, re-surfaced last week.


"WOMEN WILL SETTLE FOR ANYTHING THAT BREATHES AND HAS A CREDIT CARD"! 

I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IN YOUR CASE JOHN, YOU'D HAVE NEEDED TO PAY CASH!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wasn't written by Bercow I'm afraid. A parody by one of his conservative student colleagues.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anonymous, SSSH! I know. Don't tell everyone. You can't get a story out of that. This is not the MSM. I won't be sued!

wee boaby said...

If he was such an expert then how come he ended getting married to a drug addled slapper who shagged anything that moved ?
Although to be fair Mrs Squeaker is a fuckin ride.
I read that when he gets sacked as squeaker in 6 months he'll be set up for life with half his wages a year in pension ( £65K). Plus of course he will go to The Lords where he will get £250 a day if he signs in. Not as daft as he's stupid looking.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hey Boabs, not a bad job if you can get it. I don't know why Mrs Slapper married a wee runt like him, she must have been pished. He maybe got her up the plum duff.