Thursday, 19 November 2009

LORD FOULKES OF CUMNOCK NAMED "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE"





Labour "lush" Lord Foulkes has been named People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive", reclaiming a title he first won in 1973.  FOULKES, whom People described as "the king of cool with the killer cheekbones," succeeded 2008 winner The Elephant Man. Other stars who have received the honor twice include George Galloway and Labour Leader, Iain Gray.



"Whether it's in the House of Lords or in Holyrood, FOULKERS has that PATRICIAN LOOK, the high cheek bones, the parched face, the shitey red complexion due to the drink, the nose with the boils on it like MP Jim Devine and finally the 'glazed over expression eyes' which are a direct result of exposure to too much free whisky", People said in a statement.

FOULKERS will receive his award on Monday, if anyone can work out which parliament he is thieving his wages from that day.

14 comments:

Edgar said...

Well, DL, when I first came to your blog, I bethought myself 'Here is a fellow with an amusing turn of phrase,' but I see, from the current post, that there is an aesthetic side to you previously unsuspected, a sensitive and caring aspect that sits atop the cynicism and politely requests attention. Wait a minute ... no, there isn't. Has it never occurred to you, man, that, underneath a politician's vile, scaly, fraudulent, lying skin (yes! lying skin!) there beats a heart of pure vacuum? I thought not ...

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Going by the size of the fat bastard, he looks like he ate Cumnock. And having had the misfortune to visit the town a few times, I'm suprised he aint got the shits.

Wardog said...

Did Willie Bain win best wart arrangement of the year?

Jim Devine said...

The vote was fixed. I've got the brown envelopes and invoices that will prove it.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Edgar, I am bemused by your comment as I always thought I had a bit of a soft, caring centre. In contrast to that unfortuntely there is a "call a spade a spade" kinda attitude. Foulksey is a particlularly repugnant, scaley, lizard like, cunt and I don't use that word often in my twitterings. It has to be reserved for the very pinnacle of Labour Fuckpig.

You also have shown a sophistication in your comment that I didn't know was in your make-up. When I first saw your comments on my postings, I thought to myself, now here's someone who has a bit of Je ne sais quoi and it's fair to say I'm still don't know what!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Ah Roberto, you speak of the "land that time forgot". It is the only place I know where the tramps are more stylishly dressed. They're still wearing that Bay City Rollers gear from the 70s with the tartan down the side of the jeans, very Mary Quant!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Wardog, he won in the best wart newcomer of the year. He also unfortunately for him won the "Man least likely to succeed" category and was runner-up to John Bercow in the "wee squirt of the year" prize.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mr Devine, or pizza nose as you are known on this blog. Are you still counting all the postal votes in Glasgow N.E. yet or are they all in?

Lothian and Borders CID said...

Mr Devine.We have been trying to contact you. Could you please phone us on 01313113131.

Jim Devine said...

DL.
If you are implying that we "did a Glenrothes " in order to win Glasgow NE then I can assure you that there was no need for such despicable tactics.
Free buckie and a promise to stop any reform of the benefit system did the trick.

Dark Lochnagar said...

CID, Mr Devine has asked me to ask you, if it's ok for him to shelve that at the moment.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Mr Devine, as well as the CID, "DOMINOES EXPRESS PIZZAS" have been on to me looking for your nose. Free Buckie, those fucking Monks have got a lot to answer for!

HeadsonPoles said...

Nursing a semi as I type DL - thanks for the pic!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, you have a serious problem. Can I suggest a site easypic.com where your erotic desires can be seen too with not too many popups!