Labour Minister, Helen Goodman the Labour MP for Bishop Auckland who earns £96,167 claims that women will be put off becoming MPs if they are not allowed to claim expenses for cleaners.
"It's not fair" she bleated "women do most of the cleaning and we need money to pay our cleaners. I aways pay my cleaner 10 pence over the minimum wage to encourage her. After tax and national insurance she nearly has enough to pay her bus fare home some weeks, if she buys a super saver ticket"! " and it's not as if I even ask her to wash my clatty knickers" she added, " they're usually so badly encrusted after a day sitting on the Government benches that I put them straight in the bucket, before my husband gets home and sniffs them".
" He's a pervert, don't you know, loves nothing better than to walk about the house with a pair of my dirty knickers on over his head. He says the rancid whiff helps to clear his head after a long day. Some days he even eats his consomme through them although the pheasant casserole out of Marks can present a problem. The jelly however is usually manageable unless the cook uses too much gelatin."
For further details go to www.howtoeatapairofcrustyknickers.com