Thursday, 15 October 2009


A CARPET-MUNCHING soldier who was awarded nearly £190,000 after an employment tribunal found she was sexually harassed by MINISTER of DEFENCE, BOB AINSWORTH has had her payout INCREASED by more than £62,000. The Ministry of Defence launched an appeal after it was ordered to pay former Lance Bombardier Kerry Fletcher £186,895 following her successful claim for ATTEMPTED SEXUAL ASSAULT FROM AN OLD WANKER WITH A TOUPEE! (I don't mean that he used his wig to assault her)
The MoD was ordered to pay Miss Fletcher £30,000 for injury to feelings, £20,000 to fund new DILDOS, £50,000 FOR NICE BIG NEW TITS and £65,558 for PLASTIC SURGERY to her face in case anyone recognised her and made a fool of her!

MINISTER AINSWORTH meanwhile is in negotiations with the TALIBAN and AL QU'EDA, both of whom want him to stay in his job.


AMW said...

Carpet Muncher lol. Not heard that one for a while!!

Jesus what a culture we live in now. Say summit out of turn or a wee nip on the backside and the victum gets thousands in compinsation!!
MINISTER AINSWORTH meanwhile is in negotiations with the TALIBAN and AL QU'EDA, both of whom want him to stay in his job.
Hee hee i love it :) :)

INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

Yes DL passive lesbian absorption can lead to a lack of manoil where needed at the schwerepunkt.All taliban will be found rifleing through Bob's Helman's for the ersatz mayonaisse. I'll bet her briefs are talibanfan and all would roll over for a good jihading, human rights to fuck.

Dark Lochnagar said...

It's a fucking disgarce Spook, brought over from our American cousins. I just wish I could sue some bastard.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Incoming, I wish to fuck I was a woman, because I would have been a lesbian, fucking brilliant, all that kissing, licking and dildoing. I'm away to bed now to see if Mrs DL has remebered to take her face cream off and taken her curlers out. Sorry, forgot, she's got the painters in.

HeadsonPoles said...

Lesbians only look that good in films. Ask the Husband of the former Home Secretary.
Thanks for the welcome DL!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Us boys all like a bit of the old lesbian sex, fucking brill. I wonder if shirt lifters like it? no, probably not!

Gigits said...

Bob Ainsworth ain't seen his prick for years and when he did, he thought it was for stirring his tea.

Dark Lochnagar said...

That'll be why he walks like he's burnt his knob.

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Anonymous said...

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