Thursday, 29 October 2009

JIM MURPHY MEETS POPE BENEDICT XV1

Scottish Secretary Jim Murphy, a prominent Catholic, yesterday
met Pope Benedict XVI, in St Peter's Square.

"I couldn't quite hear what he was saying", Mr Murphy said.
"He was standing up on a balcony and there was quite a big crowd and they were very noisy. A few hours later however one of the Nuns who were there passed me a message from his Holiness to all his flock in Scotland.


It read " you tell Celtic board to
geta rid of Mowbray,
he's a fucking hopeless!"


16 comments:

tris said...

I bet it was a very very junior nun.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, probably a Nun on the run!

thought for the day said...

Reminds me of that joke about the Popes visit to Glasgow.
A crowd of Celtic supporters in hoops tops and one guy with a Rangers top are there to meet him.
The pope makes straight for the Hun and speaks to him for a wee while ignoring the septics. Same thing happens the following day on a trip to an abandoned coal mine.
Wee Tim says bollox to this and steals a hun top from a washing line in Milngavie.
Tim is standing there in an orange hun top as the pope makes straight for him during his trip to a disused steel mill.
The pope whispers into the hun top wearing bhoys ear.
I thought I told you yesterday to fuck off.

Wardog said...

I wonder what the pope said when he met his holiest

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Bloody idol worshippers!

scunnert said...

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph whit's the world comin tae? Ah hope the big galoot was given a wheen ae Hail Mary's tae say.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Thought for the day. Nice one! When we have our Ayrshire bloggers Christmas night out, we'll get some more of them out.

Dark Lochnagar said...

He walks about his constituency with a skull cap on to please his Jewish voters so often, the Pope probably thought HE WAS Jewish.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, I thought you Orangemen were right behind Labour now?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, did you ever hear the "what does the holy father give for a blow job", joke. It's fucking long and I can't be arsed typing it if you've heard it.

cherrypicker said...

DL. Is it true that the jewish skull cap is actually their old foreskin ? Removed at pre wanking age and stretched over many years . Heard that story a few times so it might be true.

Gorgon McFuckwitted twat said...

I had an egg benedict once. Is that related to anything here ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Cherrypicker. I had mine removed at tender age for hygene reasons. You should see the size of the head of my cock. Big purple thing, and clean as fuck!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Gorgon, I think this refers to the present pope's predecessor, Pope Benedict xv, who was partial to having a runny poached egg licked off his knob by a choirboy called Murphy, who later emigrated to South Africa, not coming back until he had been well and truly seen to by a tribe of pygmies. He then proceeded to join a political party of mental pygmies, before ending up as Secretary of State for Scotland.

Gorgon McFuckwitt said...

Yes I can see Spud Murphy licking eggs off of an old mans bell end and ringpiece. Sadly too easy to imagine from the way Spud sucks up to the Gorgon and Celtic and anything anti Scottish. You would think he would be chubbier though. With all that spunk and egg he eats.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Ah Gordon, that'll be the A.I.D.S. With a bit of luck the cunt will be dead shortly thereby not giving him a chance to take over from that wanker Gray who entertains us every Thursday with his pish comments at FM questions.