Thursday, 15 October 2009

BRITAIN ABOUT TO GO BUST-SAYS E.C.


Britain's economy was consigned to a list of those at 'high risk' yesterday because of the spiralling national debt.

The European Commission issued a humiliating warning that the worsening budget deficit poses 'serious concerns' that the country will be unable to meet future spending commitments, such as pensions. The growing number of elderly people threatens to make debt unsustainable and has led to the UK economy being ranked alongside nations such as Latvia, Greece and Romania.
ROMANIA? The land of CEAUSESCU and COUNT DRACULA!
FUCK ME BROWN!
What was that you were saying about the ARC OF PROSPERITY?

10 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I heard Broon has applied for a Provi loan to tide us over...

Henry North London said...

What did you do to those pound coins to make them look like pennies?

They look wasted..

Dark Lochnagar said...

A Provi loan Rab, he'll be lucky if he gets Luncheon Vouchers to tide us over.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Henry, they were hanging about in a wino's pocket for a few weeks and I'm afraid his pisher was a bit rancid and the ammonia has gone for them.

Lorenzo said...

Surely we owe such of an unimaginable amount of money, we must have been bust ages ago, and will be for many years to come. So how do they recon we're not yet bust, unless we flog off everything in the country to the Chinese I suppose?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lorenzo, your dead right, but we have nothing worth selling. I mean the Channel Tunnel has never made money, the Dartford bridge and the Student Loan co.? Fuck me. They would be better selling off Westminster and leasing it back and getting rid of the Royal Palaces to some Arabs. The Arabs have already shagged most of our Royal Princesses anyway so what the fuck.

banned said...

Some years back someone did a study and added up all the assets of the entire country and divided it by the number of citizens; turns out we could all be millionaires and fuck off to Spain or somewhere warm.

"the country will be unable to meet future spending commitments, such as pensions. " Oh, so they have finally caught on have they. Isn't it illegal to continue trading when you know that you are insolvent ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Funnily enough Banned, I once had that dilema and ending up being banned from being a Director of a Ltd co. through no fault of my own. The fucking channel Tunnel has never made money and it's a private comapnay. If the banks called in their loans if could never pay them back.

Gigits said...

The Provi? This country would be damned lucky to be able to purchase a Sofa from Crazy George's at 75% APR

Dark Lochnagar said...

Or a three piece suite from DFS at 10% of original price, nothing to pay for 2 years and 10 years interest free! Oh and a new one for nothing when it's fucked ( in about 3 months).