The London Evening No-Standards has reported a Metropolitan Police source stating that HOME SECRETARY JACQUI SMITH'S HUSBAND has been missing from their Palatial London Home for the last 48 hours.
Mr Smith was last seen at Kings Cross Station boarding a train for Scotland for a 24 hour dirty video Seminar. He was due to change trains in Penrith and this is the last time he was seen, walking down the edge of the platform.
He is not thought to be dangerous, but if spotted by a member of the public, do not approach without a box of tissues.
THE BUDGET TOMORROW must be a REGGIE BLINKER, (scotch rhyming slang me old cocker), going by the shite coming out of no 10.
First BLEARS does a "quickie" coming out of the door and then MugaBroon gives us some load of fucking shite about MPs' expenses on the DOWNING STREET WEBSITE.
Does nothing get trailed in Parliament first, nowadays?
What a WANKER and the embarrassing thing is, he's Scottish. But then, in a little known fact to our English cousins, was BLIAR.
AND WHAT A PRICK HE WAS. HE'S NOW TRYING TO TELL THE POPE HOW TO RUN A TWO THOUSAND YEAR OLD CHURCH!