WHEN Tesco wanted to inject a little colour into the opening of a new multi-million pound store, managers thought they had found the perfect entertainment with local musicians. Instead the supermarket giant was left embarrassed after failing to take into account the West of Scotland’s sectarian sensitivities by booking an Orange flute band.
Members of the Bellshill Imperial Flute band met in the car park of the town’s new Tesco Extra superstore after being booked to perform a set of four songs. They were to start with "The sash my father wore", continuing on to "We'll guard old Derry's walls", then playing that old Londonderry air, "the Pope's a fucking cafflic", by which time they would be pished and finish off with "Are you watching fenian scum". Their guest conductor for the day was none other than Tescos super-employee, TONY BLAIR.
But as around 20 members warmed up, panicking managers realised their error and hurriedly gave them their marching orders. Dozens of onlookers – some sporting Rangers strips – watched as disappointed band members packed up their belongings and moved on.
