EX DJ JIMMY SAVILLE IN BANK HIT AND RUN

A MOBILITY SCOOTER SIMILIAR TO THE ONE USED BY BANK ROBBER JIMMY SAVILLE

Police hunt elderly mobility scooter driver after woman, 90, is injured in hit-and-run after bank raid by ex DJ JIMMY SAVILLE
By Daily Mail Reporter Last updated at 12:14 AM on 24th July 2009

Police are looking for the scooter driver, believed to be JIMMY SAVILLE, an elderly man in his 70s, who earlier had raided a Branch of Barclay's Bank and got away with a large amount in cash.

The elderly woman suffered a serious cut to her leg after being hit as she walked on a high street pavement with her daughter.
The driver of the scooter - a white-haired man in his 70s - was heard to shout as he sped away, 'how's about that then'.

SAVILLE who police say has gone off the rails since his elderly mother died last year, has been increasingly short of cash since his application to be the new SPEAKER OF THE COMMONS was rejected by MPs.

Police have appealed to Saville to give himself up as he dropped his ZIMMER FRAME and the batteries on his scooter will need re-charging.

EXCLUSIVE-JIMMY SAVILLE TO BE NEW SPEAKER

JIMMY SAVILLE, THE NEW SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE, WITH SOME LABOUR MPS

In a shock announcement from Downing Street, this afternoon, Mr Jimmy Saville KPMG, has been revealed as the new SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

The 250-1 outsider has cost the Bookies millions as a late flood of informed bets from anonymous sources around Westminster brought him into even money favourite.

"JIM FUCKING FIXED IT FOR ME", smiled a jubilant LORD FOULKES as he left Ladbrokes grasping a large WAD in his pocket. The "WAD" later turned out to be an embarrassing testicular swelling which has been a problem for FOULKES for many years.

Jimmy Saville, who has been dubbed the WAKEFIELD WANKER by Tory MP, Sir SINGEON STEVENS, will start his duties shortly.

The famous shout from the SPEAKER OF "ORDER, ORDER", will henceforth be changed to "HOW'S ABOUT THAT THEN" and smoking will be re-introduced into the commons but only CIGARS will be allowed.

The LEADER OF THE HOUSE, HARRIET HARMAN MP has refused to smoke CIGARS as they give her a SORE THROAT, as indeed does JACQUI SMITH'S HUSBAND, WHEN SHE GIVES HIM A BLOW-JOB.

What is sure, is that the OLD HOUSE will be a more fun place in the future......