The Scottish Women's sea swimming season started today in North Berwick, with the women of the douce Scottish town taking the first dip of the year, so far.
Their President, BIG JEAN, commented, "Aye, weel. It was a bit too warm for us this year. It was only minus five outside but the water was at a tepid plus two. Some of us had to break the ice which is unusual for sea water in these latitudes". "Some of the girls cheated by having a 'PISHY', which gave them wee hot patches to swim in. If we find who it was, they'll be thrown out of the club for CHEATING. It was probably those two big soft JESSIES from LONDON. They're no used to the delights of the mediterranean like conditions we get in the FIRTH of FORTH. Last year two of the lassies had to fight a POLAR BEAR. But after we barbequed it, we found the meat was a bit stringy and tasteless, not nearly as delicious as the PENGUINS we'd pot-roasted the year before.
