Boy band member MARK MOWEN, of the BARBERSHOP SINGING QUARTET 'TAKE THAT' came out yesterday as being of the HETEROSEXUAL VARIETY at his marriage in INVERNESS to his blushing bride EMMA FERGUSON.
The news has shocked other BOY BAND ENSEMBLES and band members such as GARY BARLOW who said, " I can't believe the LITTLE FUCKER. He gave me a HAND JOB behind the caravans at T IN THE PARK in August. I would never have spat it out when I gave him a BJ if I'd known he was a HETERO as it made me look silly". Trade and Industry Minister, Lord Mandelson was said to be livid when he heard, "oh the little minx" he said"married and I didn't get an invitation and I look SO GOOD IN A KILT TOO"!
We at DL wish the Bride and Groom a long and happy life, but take it from me Emma, should he ask for sex like a Sailor, RUN LIKE FUCK STRAIGHT TO A LAWER!
