YOU WOMEN HAD BETTER WATCH OUT FOR A MAN AND HIS BBQ!

A husband accused of murdering and burying his wife, then digging up her body and cooking it on the family barbecue has gone on trial in France.

Father-of-seven Benoit Piet sparked a massive police search after he reported his wife, 34-year-old Adeline, missing five years ago.

Fuck me!  You wouldn't want to eat a 

CHICKEN DRUMSTICK at one of his BBQs!

SHITE WEATHER-XMAS STOCK NOW ON SALE

STAFF AT SELFRIDGES GET INTO THE FESTIVE MOOD, 4 AND 1/2 MONTHS BEFORE XMAS

There I was today fretting over having to cancel my FIRST BBQ of the year because of the shite weather in SCOTLAND, when my mood was really lifted by the news that THOSE BASTARDS AT SELFRIDGES have started selling their XMAS STOCK, AT THE BEGINNING OF FUCKING AUGUST!!!!!

Speaking of the weather, how can those TWATS IN THE WEATHER SERVICE make such a fucking hopeless job of forecasting the weather!

I use the BBC 5 day forecast for my exact area which is 3 miles from Prestwick Airport. You would think therefore that with, weather balloons, satellites and computers, they could predict the weather 2 days in advance.

All last week it was predicting sun all day Saturday and Sunday. But the BASTARDS wait until I have organised a wee Barby for some friends on Saturday until they change the forecast, Friday night to light rain.

What a fucking country, when it's nice in spring, it's too cold at night and in summer when it's warm, it rains!

IF I DID MY JOB AS BAD AS THEM I WOULDN'T LAST TWO MINUTES!