GIRLS-DO YOU GET YOUR FIVE A DAY?

MODEL:MRS D.L.

BANANAS MAY BE THE KEY TO STOPPING AIDS SAY SCIENTISTS

Bananas may hold the key to powerful new treatments that protect against the Aids virus.  In laboratory tests, scientists found that a banana ingredient called BanLec was as potent as two existing anti-HIV drugs.
Researchers in the U.S. found that the lectin found in bananas can inhibit HIV infection by blocking the virus's entry into the body. BanLec acts on the protein 'envelope' that encloses HIV's genetic material.

Or alternatively, GAY MEN, if you feel the urge for sex with another man who may be gay, STICK A BANANA UP YOUR ARSE instead and there will be no chance of you getting AIDS!

INTERNATIONAL NEWS-AUSTRALIAN FARMERS SEE OFF DANCING BANANA

A dancing banana has been dropped from an Australian Wrigley's chewing gum advertisement after farmers threatened a day of protest.

The advert featured an animated banana, coffee, doughnut and soft drink with the slogan "they are really nasty little things that cause plaque."

It's a good thing they haven't been banned here.  In my part of Scotland the 'dancing banana' is a euphemism for something substantially more fleshy, A MAN'S TADGER!  This is taken from the fifth verse of RABBIE BURN'S LOVE SONNET, 'My Love is Like a Red Red Rose'.  Although this verse is less well known it goes, "Aucht times weel go doon tae the Savannah, An' there big Rab will show me his BANANA"

This verse was dropped in the late 19th century as it was thought to cause offence to CARRIBEAN BANANA PRODUCERS, an early case of Political Correctness.