After consultation today in Edinburgh, FIRST MINISTER, ALEX SALMOND, has ordered all WINDFARMS in Scotland to blow the VOLCANIC ASH which currently sits over Scotland TOWARDS ENGLAND!
"It's essential that we get our Airports and infrastructures back on line as quickly as possible and anyway blowing the ash towards ENGLAND will teach the bastards for not letting me take part in the LEADERS' DEBATE last night to give the SCOTTISH VIEWPOINT" he told D.L. this morning.
IAIN GRAYMAN, the Scottish labour leader has protested stating, "this is typical of the Scottish Government picking fights with my GAFFER. The SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD won't now be able to fly home to support Labour candidates the length and breadth of Scotland in their campaigns, (to their GREAT RELIEF).
