Thursday, 8 December 2011

TOP TEN BANKING JOKES



Why don't sharks attack bankers? Professional courtesy.
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A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets but to his surprise found none.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "You're a banker, right?" The young man answered, "Yes, I am."
"Well, whoever heard of a banker put his hand in his own pocket?"
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An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday.
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Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them.
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A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business?" The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."
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If you owe the bank £100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank £100m, that's the bank's problem.
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Hospitals report that the hearts of bankers are in strong demand by transplant patients, because they’ve never been used.
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Bankers never die...They just lose interest.
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What's the problem with banker jokes? Bankers don't think they're funny, normal people don't think they're jokes.
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The biggest joke of all? Bailed out bank Lloyds paying for sense of humour training at the Comedy School. That's one thing money can't buy.

10 comments:

banned said...

The BBC reported that Scotland had been cancelled due to the harsh weather.

Here is another banker joke.
Barclays is about to start charging it's poorer customers (those with no overdraft facility) £28 A DAY for negative balances LOL. RAOTFL!!!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I fucking hate banks!

Sir Fred the Shred said...

Troughing bastards the lot of them.
That's why I left when I did.

banned said...

To go back to the polar bears Beeb Radio 2 informed us today that the females are only 'in heat' (or "up for it" as Attenborough would say)
2 days a year!
Fuck me, no wonder they are such an endangered species. All the bloke polar bears must be driven to gayism.

expert on pandas said...

They probably have a headache for one of those days banned. And be on rag week for the other day.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Fred, A very wise decision.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, that's maybe why they've got those black eyes.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Expertp, you mean they'll be about 2 mins for the male panda to do the biz. Now, where does that sound familiar?

banned said...

What a twat. I meant Panda Bears in my previous shite.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, it's OK, I knew what you meant, you twat! :)