Tuesday, 6 December 2011

HOW CAN WE SPEND £80 MILLION ON OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY?

I must be a right stupid bastard.  Here's was me thinking we were skint.  But it seems I was wrong.  The Government is spending £80 million of our money on a two hour opening ceremony at the Olympics.  It was supposed to come from sponsorship and ticket sales of course, but our Lords and Masters have decided it's worth it, so they can bask in the glory like some fucking ROMAN EMPEROR!

11 comments:

Budvar said...

80 million on just the opening ceremony, that's not counting what they've spent so far on the Olympic village (read central London yuppie flats that will be sold for a song to party apparatchiks).

Alas it's all those single mothers that's put the country on the verge of bankruptcy.

Spackers said...

£80 million eh, nice round figure.
£1 million for the show, £69 million in police overtime, £10 million for bungs and bribes.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budvers, aye! Mind you those fucking single mothers aren't helping! I'd put them in a camp and then they could all look after each others' weans when some of them get a job and keep men out so they can't have any more fuckers until they're in a stable relationship or learn to keep their hand on their ha'penny! Ghengis Khan, a left wing softie!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Spackers, I don't think that figure includes security, so the fuzz bill won't be included. That'll be another £500m!

Budvar said...

Lock single mothers up in a camp? I did some work on one of these "Battered wives shelters", we weren't allowed to talk to the "inmates", let alone get involved with them. The cups of coffee offered by them wearing nothing but a see through nightie.....Camps with no men, yeah that'll work!! Who's going to employ all these people out of work, You? Selling each other double glazing, insurance, fancy hair cuts and Avon ladies does not a balance of payments make.

Dioclese said...

How can we spend £80 million on an opening ceremony? Simple. Give the money to a government department!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budvers. Ok then, if they're going to shag like rabbits, we let men in and open up a few knocking shops and tax their earnings at 80% to pay for their and their spawns keep. By the time they're 40 and GILFs they'll be too old to breed and they can look after the Grand kids.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Greekers, I suppose it is quite cheap when you consider it.

banned said...

The single mums of Stratford will enjoy the free show, standing in those weeds hoping their sprogs don't stab themselves on the rusty railings.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, it will give them somewhere to procreate in the long winter nights.

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