Monday, 15 August 2011


The London Library-Pall Mall (library pic)
As I write this police are rushing to the LONDON LIBRARY just off Pall Mall as a bunch of 'nobs', many of whom are Oxbridge undergraduates, members of the  AnyoneforpoloOKyah gang from Sloane Square,  Chelsea have entered the building and have barricaded themselves in.

It is thought that some of the scum are reading books without paying to take them out of the library.  "The photcopier has been heard running almost constantly", said head librarian Constance Higginbottom.  The most popular tome appears to 'The History of the Tudors, What I Wrote', by the now discredited historian Dr. David Starkey, who last week offended liberal sensibilities by offering up the notion that last week's riots might have been due to the mass immigration of the last 20 years, particularly from Jamaica!

There are even suggestions tonight, that books by the celebrated authoress Jordan and the famous quick witted, 'man-about-town',  Piers Morgan have been trashed and used as toilet paper by some of the defecating rioters or arsenests, as they have become known.

The Mayor of London, Mr Boris Johnson, is known to be inside the premises.  It is not known if he is being held as a hostage, or whether he's trying to get his, 'Nat King Cole' from some of the younger, female protesters.


banned said...

Tudors were well wicked crew man, now gimme your watch guy.

Anonymous said...

What a blow. One was hoping to go there later today. One's heard that the latest autobiography by Jordan covers the period of her relationship with Pete, with all the steamy scenes left in... blow by blow, literally.

It's a must have for the beach dahling; such "good writing", and the print size so large and so many spaces, why, one can write one's
"to do" lists between the lines.

Oh well, I'll just have to get it from the St Tropez library. I dooo hope they have books in English there. Well they should, shouldn't they. I mean it's a proper language.

Anonymous said...

Oh and I shouldn't pay too much attention to Starkey dahlings. He's a poof and a cripple to boot!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I say old chap, that's a bit rough, what? Innit?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, I can hardly contain myself waiting to read about her affair with the steamy wrestler, chappy. All that sweat and passion. She's got a lot of spunk that girl.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, you aren't trying to tell me that Dave is a shirtlifter?

Anonymous said...

NO, I'm not "trying" to tell you, DL.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris actually I had an inkling. I'm having great fun supporting him, (Yes I know that's strange for me), against all these Marxist, anti-racism fuckers on Twatter and Facebook!