Friday, 25 March 2011


Motorists were in celebratory mood today after the 1p fuel duty reduction announced in yesterday’s budget saw petrol return to the price it was on Tuesday.

Petrol stations were quick to put up the price of petrol by 1p yesterday morning to allow for the planned reduction, and then dropped the price back 1p yesterday evening, putting prices back to Tuesday levels.

“Nice one George,” enthused one motorist, “You’ve really listened to concerns of motorists and taken decisive action that makes a real difference.”

“I like a government that can take us back to the halcyon days of earlier this week – everything was so much better then.”
1p off fuel duty

Other motorists were keen to point out how a return to Tuesday has lifted everyone’s spirits.

“I remember Tuesday like it was yesterday,” a taxi driver told us last night.

“Back on Tuesday you could fill up your tank and still have enough money to buy a copy of The Sun to find about how we’re so much better off than on Wednesdays.”

“Thursday is the new Tuesday!” cheered a plumber while honking the horn on his van.

George Osborne has insisted that ministers will be “watching like hawks” to ensure that oil companies don’t pass on the £2bn windfall tax to motorists.

“The last thing that we want to see is for the country to be plunged back into Wednesdays,” he said

From NewsThump


Joe Public said...

A Headline worthy of The Daily Mash.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Publes, follow the link to NewsThump, their stuff is every bit as good as the Mash.

Billy said...

Aye they are going to watch the oil companies to see if they pass on the tax rises onto the consumer - And then what?

Are they then going to tax them some more as a punishment only for the oil companies to pass that on also.

Or if the oil companies decide not to invest any more money into new fields etc are the government going to force them to - Who are these jokers kidding.

banned said...

What a wanker that Osborn is, expecting praise for not pimping an extra 5p onto petrol like he threatened to and then expecting us to be pleased is bit like a big kid stopping hitting a little one and expecting a fucking prize.

Then the cunt cuts 1p off a litre at a 'cost' to the treasury of 2B£ but robs that off big oil to compensate and where the fuck will they recoup that from George? US, you twat.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, I noticed that they said they had to get rid of old fuel first before they could bring it down. They don't make that excuse when it's going up. There was a difference that I saw in Ayr today of £0.06 per litre between Asda and an independent BP garage. That's a lot of money over the year.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Osborne is a complete cunt and his Port is shite too.

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