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| HRH PRINCE CHARLES CONTEMPLATES A WANK YESTERDAY |
The D.L. news agency can exclusively reveal tonight, that plans are afoot to have a FOOTMAN, masturbate HRH Prince Charles, should he be near death.
All footmen in the employ of the Royal Family, have been issued with sperm collection bottles to be used if the Prince is about to snuff it. The command has come from HRH, the Queen, who fears that Charle's sons, Willie and that other twat who was fathered by some polo player are unfit to take over the throne, if and when Charles ascends, provided of course the old fucker ever croaks it and that is debatable, because with modern medicine she may be kept alive until 143, meaning that she will have to send herself 144 telegrams.
In the quite likely event that Willie and Harry get eaten by some large animal, while visiting some country, to start some patently obviously, useless charity, next to where the England Rugby/Football/Hockey/Polo/Womens' Volleyball team just happens to be playing, or get the shite kicked out of them in some night club, then the Prince's sperm will be used to create another Royal Patriach to look after the secret family fortune which is hidden from view in various bank accounts.
9 comments:
I have urgently e-mailed the Daily Mash instruction manual "The Stylish Masturbator" to
footman@charles.hrh.crown.uk
Banned, thanks be to Allah!
DL
He intends spreading his Bilderberger's seed! Poor man talking to flowers and having posh wanks using holes in trees usually reserved for squirrels!
See what a beer does?!
CD
DL mate, Defender of the Faiths mate, Defender of the Faiths.
Daisy, Yes but the only problem is it takes you about twice as long to do as you keep on hitting the wrong key.
He's wanking into trees. This is news. Tell me more.
This story can't be right as I have it on good authority that Camilla has castrated him.
she may be kept alive until 143, meaning that she will have to send herself 144 telegrams.
mmm. Ah! you've been listening to Iain Gray
Greekers, actually I think that might have been Diana when she found out about Camilla.
Highlander, what I believe you don't know is that it is convention to send a telegram after you get to 120, on the 1st of January of the new year just in case you don't get to your birthday but enter a new year so to speak, thereby enabling her most gracious Majesty to send a telegram and damn good show, What? Hurrah, Hurrah!
I never listen to Mr Gray, but in this particular instance I got sent a e-mail from SNP HQ this afternoon, so they probably thought there was some significance,to be actually working on a Sunday.
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