Saturday, 15 January 2011

WORLD'S WORST DIY MAN KILLS FAMILY!



A grief-stricken husband has told of his sorrow after a heater he installed in the family bathroom fell in the bath, electrocuting his wife and three-year-old son.
37-year-old Vasilica Arsene from Romania had installed the heater the day before after his children had complained of the cold.

Now obviously a tragic tale.  I was going to leave it at that, but when I read the story fully, I noticed that Mr Arsene's family had been waiting for three  months in Italy to come here and join him.  Mr Arsene, (I wonder if he's a relative to that Arsenal twat),  is described as a 'scrap metal dealer'.  Now as you, who read this shite know, I'm not one for jumping to conclusions, but a 'scrap metal dealer' that can't speak English, from Romania.  

Is that not a gypsy?  Why did he have to come here?  What was wrong with Italy?  If the man was a genuine asylum seeker, that's fair enough.  But, you can buy houses in Romania now, so it's not a totalitarian state.  So why the fuck was he and his family here?  Do we not have enough scrap metal dealers.  Is this one of the occupations that we have to bring in immigrants, to do?  Just asking.

24 comments:

Budvar said...

I happen to think you're way off the mark here with the "occupations that we have to bring in immigrants, to do?" comment DL.

I personally think we need more workmen of his calibre working especially in No10, the house of commons, Buckingham palace, not to mention every police area HQ.

Tragedy aside, I think this chap needs all the help he can to get back on the horse as were. In fact I myself and several of the mates have decided to put a bit of work his way installing bathroom heaters and stands for the 28" TV so the wife doesn't get cold or miss her corrie and eastenders whilst she takes a well deserved soak in the tub to chilax after a hard day...

The Young Oligarch said...

But the man is an EU citizen , DL .

"Independence within Europe" as Eck used to say .

We cannae keep them oot .

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders,you had me spluttering
there for a minute. These are just the people we need, fuck you and your cheap mates!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Oli, FFS you've been on here enough. Let's get it first, then we'll worry about semantics! :()

Budvar said...

I'm pretty sure I met this guy once before. I was having problems with my emergency chute on a skydiving trip and as he passed I shouted "Do you know anything about parachutes?". In broken English he replied "Not really, but do I know anything about gas cookers?"....

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, fuck off!

Budvar said...

That was a profound, well thought out, reasoned, articulate response there DL.

Were you over doing it with the "Clandew" a bit last night?

Down in the smoke said...

I've got some six inch nails if he wants to put the appliance back up properly.

Budvar said...

Smokey, no wonder the country's falling to pieces around our ears you cowboy.

Everyone knows that with plasterboard studding walls, you need at least 7" nails so you've got something to bend over when they poke through in the next room. If you're unlucky enough to hit any live wires or gas/water pipes, whatever you do never remove the offending nail. Just apply a liberal coating of oil based paint to seal it and you're ready to go.

Call it belt and braces security if you wish, but failing to follow these few safety tips is how accidents happen.

Down in the smoke said...

Budvar. Any fule can do the job with the right equipment. What are you? Some kind of City and Guilds nancyboy?
As a temporary fix, i would recommend clout nails and Blu Tack.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, as a matter of fact I was. I was actually surprised upon rising this morning to find I had down a blogpost, I remembered fuck all about. What gave it away?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, it would be easier to nail the other kid to the wall and just hose it down to make sure it doesn't fall into the bath. Masonary nails are the thing of the future. I've been using them for 40 years with some amazing results.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, I'm fucking impressed. Did you cut and paste that from some joinery journal?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, I ran Budvar's suggestion past the wife, who does all the DIY in my house and she says he's right!

Budvar said...

Seriously chaps, having been in the building game for over 15 years (I used to be a maintenance fitter) all I can say is many a true word spoken in jest!!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, what's your view of masonary nails?

I am Stan said...

@DITS,

Whats a fule?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stanners, I believe he may have been imitating some sort of immigrant accent, although I may be wrong, as I quite often am.

I am Stan said...

Aaaah!...like "sore finger", rumored to be a Chinese interpretation of "salt and vinegar".

Budvar said...

Masonry nails should only be used on glazed blue engineering brick...

Down in the smoke said...

Masonry nails? What sort of wimp uses masonry nails, when kebab skewers will do the job just as well with the application of a masterfull hand on the club hammer?
It's at times like these that my old man's closing speech on his latest bodge, would end with the craftsmans eulogy, "It'll be alright as long as you don't swing on it"
They don't make them like that anymore.
Unless you're from Romania, of course.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stanners, you've got it now. You know how those London fuckers talk. :)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, I see your point. Because of their superior tensile strength, to say nothing of their sharpness, they would split the brick in two requiring your partner to phone a 'man' who should have been doing the job in the first place.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, you see I have to use masonry nails because I bought some in the early 70s and being a thrifty Scot, there are still 7 left out of the 12 that I bought. 2 gave up the ghost and weren't as strong as they should have been, 2 are still holding up the lounge pelmet after 13 years and the police haven't returned the one, that I hammered through my cock one night, for a drunken bet. Fortunately as I have a large padded cock, I missed the artery and thus I am still here today to tell the tale.