Saturday, 11 December 2010

CZECH TEST TO DETERMINE HOMOSEXUALS TO BE OUTLAWED BY THE EU!


The EU has told Czech Republic to stop its controversial practice of trying to determine whether asylum seekers are gay by showing them blue movies to gauge their 'sexual arousal' levels.
Those subjected to what Czechs referred to as the 'porno exam' were men claiming asylum on the grounds they would be in danger in their homelands due to their sexuality.
If any of the applicants got aroused at the sight of men and women having sex they were automatically denied asylum rights.
Asylum seekers had to watch both 'straight' and gay porn. Sensors were attached to the private parts and linked up to a computer to test whether they were stimulated or not

If they were aroused during 'straight' porn, like the work of Jenna Jameson, they were automatically denied asylum rights
If they were aroused during 'straight' porn, like the work of Jenna Jameson, they were automatically denied asylum rights
A Prague interior minister spokesman said the tests had been valuable in determining whether men were really gay or not but the EU said they were clearly a breach of the human rights charter of the bloc.
The men were shown both 'straight' and gay porno films by Czech officials. Sensors were attached to the private parts, linked up to a computer, to test whether they were stimulated or not.


Trust the EU to get rid of a brilliant idea.  There you are, arriving in a foreign country and as soon as you get off the plane they give you a plastic cup, a tissue and let you watch porn films.  You must be thinking to yourself in Swahili, what a great place this is, until you get a swatch at the first white woman's fanny you've seen and before you know where you are, you're back where you came from.  Now that's what I call, good ideas in motion.

14 comments:

Huhnes secret lover said...

What if you bat for both sides ? You could shoot your muck over mens bums or womens front bottoms.
All very queer.

Budvar said...

Hey I don't buy this batting for both sides bollox, case in point Janet Tough AKA Jimmy Crankie. I was going to point out the ins and outs etc, but bottom line is any fucker that find her sexually arousing as a woman has got to be some sort of dodgey fucker anyways.

Toni said...

That is quality, Brussels is only pissed off because the Czechs didn't employ a team of 50 eurocrats with a working budget of 10 million Euros to study the impact of porn on ethnic groups.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Huhnest Man, yes, that did strike me as well. What happens if you're bi-sexual? Could be a bit of a dilemma, not getting a stiffy at the sight of a woman's fanny!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, come on! She's a bit old now, but fuck me, 20 years ago if she'd have given you a BJ in that school uniform, you'd have shot away good style! :)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Antonio, I think it's a brilliant idea. Not too sure about getting my bollox wired up though. But for fuck's sake, getting your Nat King Cole, even if you had to choke the chicken, five minutes after getting off the plane from the Congo. How good is that?

Toni said...

Reminds me of some book Tom Sharpe wrote about apartheid era South Africa. In order to stop the white police from screwing black women they showed them slide shows of naked black women and electrocuted their balls if they got aroused. The downside was all the police turned gay.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Antonio, I think I could find that quite stimulating.

Budvar said...

Sorry DL but 20 year olds and schoolboys don't do it for me, now Salma Hayek or Penelope Cruz in a nuns outfit...

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budders, just kidding, FFS :) Who's Salma Hayek, I'll look her up!

banned said...

@toni I read that, along with most of Tom Sharps stuff; don't suppose that he is very welcome by the Islington glitteratri these days though, at the time, he was thought of as rather cutting edge and contrary.

DL, in a kinda Freudian moment I thought you had said a "Prague Interior Designer..." which would have given the game away, no?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, yes Tom Sharps was funny in his day. What was that one with the gardener. Mind you, if I was a hoofter, I think old Jenna would give me twinge, even if I just wanted to stick it up her arse!

Joe Public said...

I understand some potential immigrants voluntarily took the test 1/2 a dozen times.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Publes, welcome to the blog. Yes, a very strange tale or should that be 'tail'. Mind you after seeing that Jenna's fake tits for 3 or 4 hours, I think I might turn poofy myself!