Thursday, 23 September 2010

THE SHITHOUSE IS LIKE A SHITHOUSE SAYS ENGLISH ORGANISER!



New pictures released today have revealed the full horrid squalor facing competitors arriving at the Commonwealth Games athletes' village.
The pictures, taken by a D.L. undercover reporter, show dirty bathrooms, exposed electricity cables, bedsheets covered in animal footprints, and flooding in filthy toilets and basins.
Geoffrey Smithers who is there checking out the English Athletes' accommodation says the shithouses are like shithouses.  Hamish McDonald for the Scots says the shitehouses are like shitehouses, whilst Dai Jones for the Welsh says, there's lovely, Boyo!  The toilets are all done in a lovely marble, which is nice since the Welsh athletes are used to outside toilets ,like the one below:




So they're very happy Welsh Bunnies!

16 comments:

hopeless foreigners ! said...

These Indians need to come over here and see how things are done properly. Give them tours of the successful millenium dome, Wembley Stadium, Scottish Parliament, Edinburgh trams system etc. All built on time and more importantly under budget.
We're lucky that we managed to avoid the financial crash that affected America and the rest of the West through corruption and mismanagement. Our MPs' are immune from the corruption endemic in India. The expenses scandal where MPs are due to be prosecuted is a fit up by The Telegraph. West Scotland is a beautiful example of how things work with the cooperation of the people and their elected leaders.
Overseas our successful attacks on Iraq and Afghanistan will set the benchmark for future wars. How to fight to win then win the peace without a drop of blood being spilt.
Yes we would show those foreigners that British is Best.

Billy said...

Is it true that the Indian government provides phone numbers for the athletes to complain to and that the operators are based in the UK using cheap labour and that they will not be able to understand what they are saying?

This was a shite post anyway!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hopeless, what are you trying to say?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, wouldn't it be a laugh if Indians had to phone call centres here. I'd built 3. One in Newcastle, one in Glasgow and one in Birmingham. That would sort the fuckers!

Barking Spider said...

Fucking hilarious, DL. ;-)

hopeless said...

DL..
Just saying that everything we touch turns to shit. Projects go years over schedule and end up triple the original cost. We blunder into foreign wars and cause mayhem. Our banks and politicians are corrupt.
Yet we have the BBC etc sitting taking the piss out of some shitty toilets in India

Dark Lochnagar said...

Thanks, Spidey.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hoopless, I got your point. But I would like to point out that all these projects you mentioned we're built by child labourers from India. Did you see that pic of the child labourers in some staduim sorting seats and there is some cunt with a whip like device standing over them?

hopeless said...

Yes I noticed that DL.
There's a lot going on in the background that we don't know about. A Dubai company involved in the work has mysteriously gone silent after 'purring' about the athletes village a few weeks ago..

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/97005/games-village-ever-claims-kalmadi.html

Mr. Mxyzptlk said...

I can see what you done there DL you took some random pics around Glasgow and then make out there from India.

Your next you'll say Ha! fooled you lot.

You couldn't trick me though been in that Pub to many times you should see it on Saturday night.

Budvar said...

Try building a call centre in Barnsley.
The wifes grandfather was from there, and bearing in mind it's only about 12 miles down the road where I grew up, whenever he spoke I had to get the wife or her mother to translate everything he said.

Billy said...

Mr Mxyzptlk - That's right! Labour run areas after they have been improved.

DL - That is exactly what I was thinking as I posted the comment - The funny thing is that most of them over there speak better English than even the English do.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Hooperless, yes there's not too juch coming out of Delhi now! Mind you a bucket of water and some Cillit Bang and they'll be spick and span in no time. That's the trouble with these athletes, they're too big in the had. They forget their roots.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Nico, I remember being in Athens airport once and as you know in Greece they put the used toilet paper in a bin. Well there was 6 toilets and I got the only one out of the 6 with paper. I remember thinking to myself, what happens if you've run in there, bursting for a shite and discover, too late, there's no paper. Do you go into the bin and look for a cleanish bit or what? Just asking.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Budvar, it would be a fucking hoot though. Fuck knows what they do when they get someone calling to India from Barnsley!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Billy, I got what you meant and it was a good comment! I had to phone one in India the other night for my SKY and I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Eventually as it was taking so long to reset my box, he was telling me he was in Mumbai and h was a graduate from a middle class family and that although he had a shitey job, he would never vote for a Labour party led by any of the Milipedes, because he'll be over here in a couple of years anyway.