Monday, 2 August 2010

BORIS JOHNSON UNVEILS 60FT 'BENDY' BIKE!


London Mayor, Boris Johnson, has unveiled his latest solution to the capital’s transport problems – the bendy bike, a 60ft-long, articulated bicycle that bends in the middle.
‘The bendy bike is just what Londoners need,’ said Mr Johnson. ‘It can carry up to fifty people and, with its accordion style flexi-frame, it can go round corners much more easily than any regular 60ft bike.’
The super-size velocipede can be hired at docking stations positioned around the capital and has the advantage of rapid simultaneous boarding. ‘People can simply hop on and hop off whenever they like,’ said the Mayor. ‘When you want it to stop just ring the bell or honk the horn.’
Unfortunately on it's first day of operation a disabled pensioner, Gladys Bigerse, was hurt as she tried to jump on at Oxford Street.  "It was the fist orgasm I've had since my husband passed away" she told us, "the bar of the bike just caught me right on the fanny and it was an exhilarating experience.  I'm going to try it again, once the bruising goes down".

Read the full story now at NewsBiscuit.com

10 comments:

gone fuckin mental said...

I'm fuckin mental !

Dark Lochnagar said...

Fuckers, fair enough. That's nice to hear. You don't think you should be consulting someone?

gone fuckin mental said...

Just sucked Boy George's cock and feeling much better thanks DL.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Excellent, now do you have some sensible comment you wish to add or would prefer being a fuckwit. I can recommend thae name of a good doctor who helped my friend.

banned said...

Can you see Boris being subpoenaed for wasting public funds when they all get nicked?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, Actually I thought it was a good idea! The man is a fountain of engineering knowledge.

Anonymous said...

Turkish fuckwitz. Stick the fucking tranny tandem up his arse.

FUCKIN SIGNING FUCKIN IN JUST LIKE HIS FUCKING STASI FUCKING BIKE SYSTEM.

FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!! FFS sign in!

banned said...

I asked a Dutch girl how come in prosperous Holland everyone rode around on such shitty bikes?
She replied that it was beause everyone just steals eaach others bikes whenever they feel the need for a ride. They have a resale value of about a fiver so no-one gives a fuck if theirs gets stolen, they just get another or steal one in turn.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, the question is, was she a dyke and did you have your finger in her?