Wednesday, 16 June 2010

IT SEEMS TO BE FAT, UGLY MEN SEASON!


A policeman was jailed today for having sex with women drivers in exchange for letting them off motoring offences.  Traffic Pc Jamie Slater, 33, abused his position by pulling over women motorists - and offering them a deal: 'I'll let you go if you have sex with me.'

Now I'm no woman, but let me say, as most of you know, I have a very highly developed feminine side, but I would have had to be a MASS MURDERER before I'd let that UGLY, BALDY, SPECCY FUCKWIT, SHAG ME!

Not only that but we have GLASGOW LABOUR MSP, WANK McAVEETY getting caught on mike making comments about some 'FILIPINO' looking bird in the committee room of the SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT, who he compares to someone "off a GAUGIN painting"!  A Gaugin painting Frank?  Fuck me!  MICHAEL FOOT will be birlin in his grave tonight.  Mind you, not as much BIRLIN AS YOU'LL BE DOING WHEN THE WIFE GETS A HOLD OF YOUR WRINKLY, OLD NUTS! 

14 comments:

scunnert said...

I blame the women! They'd rather get humped by that creepy cretin than pay a wee fine? Skanks!

banned said...

He'll be in for plenty of interesting sex where he's going. I understand that the Gaoled Community take a special interest in former police officers who join them.

Twat deserves hard labour for drawing attention to himself by unlawfully using the Police National Computer and then sending coercive and threatening texts, probably thinkng that pressing "delete" would hide the evidence. Doesn't the thick cunt read the newspapers?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Scunnert, maybe the women were looking for a bit of excitement in their lives? Maybe the thought of getting shagged, manacled by a pair of handcuffs, turned them on? Who knows what goes through a woman's head?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, he'll come out with an arsehole the size of the Clyde Tunnel and let me tell you as you probably don't know what size that is, it's fucking big!

Sophia Pangloss said...

It's aye the same, it's the uniform that dis it. Ah mind durin' the war how many o' ma pals wid meet yanks oan leave, mibbe at the dancin' in Princes Street Gairdens, an take them up the back. It could get quite busy up there oan a guid day.

Ah'm no sae keen oan polis uniforms these days. They look like they wid take too lang tae get aff, an' aw thae lumpy bits wid get in the road. Wha's wantin' tae get in flagrante delictico an' end up wi' a big torch where it hurts?

No me. Ah'll stick tae pickin' up locals at Fairley's, or doon at the open-air pool, thank ye very much.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sophes, the picture of your pals taking a Yank "up the back" will stay with me for some time. I am hoping you are talking about female friends taking Yanks up the back of some building or other? Ah, those were the days, I remember my Granny telling me about it, (well we can all play the age game), how some of her pals would do anything to get a pair of silk stockings to save them drawing lines up the back of their legs including having to eat one of those 'Hershey' bars whilst orgasaming rather than the traditional fish supper. Aye, those lassies with their 'mumbling pants' don't know they're born!

Sophia Pangloss said...

Ah'll leave ye tae paint yer ain pictures Mr Lochnagar.

Don't Call Me Dave said...

DL

Some of us are grateful that there are still women on this planet willing to shag fat ugly blokes!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sophes, I think it's time in our budding relationship that we got more intimate. Please Call me DL.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Honourable Fred, In my case she's called a wife and the occasions are getting few and far between.

subrosa said...

The very thought that any Scots wummin ever orgasmed when eating a Hershey bar makes me kind of nauseous.

But a fish supper? Toe curling.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rosie, that's how you know when a Kilmarnock lassie is having an orgasm? She drops her chips! Ah, the old ones are the best.

HeadsonPoles said...

You're just playing hard to get DL and I know full well that you have fallen for that old Police trick on a dark night of "...put this in your mouth and blow until I say Nggghaaa" at least twice.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, the bastards have breathalysed me twice. Onco when I was 17 and driving my mother's car, sober. The next time when I had adrunk a litre of voddy the night before and this was 1.30 the next afternoon. I was shiting myself let me tell you but I was clear! I must admit though, I have never swallowed a polliceman's truncheon!