Thursday 3 June 2010

THE ENGLISH FOOTBALL TEAM ARRIVE HOME FROM WORLD CUP IN DISGRACE!

UPDATE:  I'VE JUST NOTICED THE STEWARDESS'S FACE.  WHAT'S THE BETTING, SOMEONE HAS STUCK THEIR HAND UP HER SKIRT!


The English Football Team have arrived back home from South Africa in disgrace, after only managing to finish in third place behind the qualifiers from the 'GROUP OF DEATH', Algeria and the United States.
England finished in third position after defeats from The United Stetes and Algeria and a 'boring' goal less draw with Slovenia saw them eliminated.
The Team had to suffer shouts at Heathrow airports from enraged fans like "Fuck off, you speccy tally bastard", "Rooney, you big eared twat", "Lampard, your cock's hanging out" and "Gerrard, you're a scouse fuckpig"  Even seasoned Journos were surprised by the viciousness of the shouts.  Team Manager, Fabio Crapello, explained to the fans, "you canna fuki off.  Mi and mi Bambini, we make quattro milliones of your English Ponds per month, so who is monkeyfuks now"!
The new favourites to win the competition are the Dominican Republic, who humiliated holders Spain, 7-0 and are now 2/15 with William Hill.

6 comments:

Theo Walcott said...

Hard luck guys. You did your best.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Theo, They'd have done better with you. Just remember to take the ball with you.

Sgt Pepperspray said...

I could see this coming. As soon as Terry got caught knobbing Bridge it was a non starter. We will never win the Jules Verne trophy with that lot of primadonnas.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, speaking as one who is ambivalent about England's hopes of returning with the Jules Rimmit, let me wish all you English fans, bon voyage and watch the AIDS!

Sgt Pepperspray said...

Fortunately I will be resigned to watching the World Cup in the local pub due to an incident that I was involved in during the last world cup (I think my travel ban runs out in time for the next world cup). I will however follow your advice regarding the immunity deficiency problems that can be encountered and make sure that I take precautions in the event of a shag coming my way, or abrasions on the knuckles.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, I for one wouldn't like to be going to S. Africa. I don't think they have developed enough to host a World Cup. But only time will tell. If would be unfortunate if you got a dose of AIDS off some whore in the pub, instead of a big African mama. Be careful!