Tuesday, 25 May 2010


Today, I can reveal to you the 'secret' of my YOUTHFUL APPEARANCE, Pond's Cold Cream. 
Although I admit to using BOTOX INJECTIONS in the past and that has helped with my full luscious lips and fabulously honed cheekbones, I have been using POND'S on a regular basis over the last six months.  Although I am now a man of 55, I am quite regularly taken for a YOUNGER MAN OF 53.
I believe it is also now used by some singer or other, called Kylie Minogue.
Pond's  is based on a cleanser used in Greece almost 2,000 years ago - an emulsion of water and certain fats.
It can be purchased in Boots at £3.99 for a 75ml jar or from http://www.iwanttolookasyoungasD.L.com/ for the SPECIAL PRICE £2.99 plus £19.99 p&p.


INCOMING!!!!!!! said...

I'll have a crate of that then DL. My arse is sagging, the botox in my buttox isn't working anymore.

Dark Lochnagar said...

INCOMING!!!!! I accept payment through conpal, all major credit cards are welcome. I can send you the economy bottle which contains 300 ml for the special price of £13.99 plus £159.50 p&p.

cosmetic specialist said...

Ye cannae polish a turd

Dark Lochnagar said...

Because you're worth it! That depends how hard it is. My cat for instance does really hard ones. Not that I have tried to polish one of course, it's all I can do to lift them out the tray and stick them down the lavvy as they fucking pong! In fact I would send the bastard out to do them under the neighbour's hedge as she used to do but she currently has a pinched nerve and has problems walking. My neighbour though has no problem walking and he still has a shite in my garden in revenge, when he thinks I'm not watching. As if a cat could do a shite that size. He must think I'm stupid or something.