Monday, 31 May 2010

BREAKING SCANDAL-CGT CHEAT ALEXANDER IS A HETEROSEXUAL!


In SENSATIONAL NEWS, tonight, it has been revealed that not only is the new Chief Secretary to the Treasury a CGT CHEAT but he is also a HETEROSEXUAL!
Libthingy MP Alexander, although he is a SPECCY BASTARD WITH RED HAIR, has had normal sexual relations with his wife, (well apart from the handcuffs and romper suit incident) and indeed recently had a child.
PETER THATCHELL, the well known GAY CAMPAIGNER said last night, "I didn't realise there were any heterosexuals left in the LIBTHINGY party, but this sort of behaviour doesn't surprise me.  These people need to be weeded out.  Is he even Jewish"?  IAIN DALE, the prominent Gay blogger told D.L., "Christ I never realised he was straight.  I'll need to cancel those FUCKING T-SHIRTS NOW"!

20 comments:

Political Scientist said...

He'll have to gay it up a bit though if he wants to climb any higher up the greasy Limpdem pole.

tris said...

How do you know he's straight?

Political Scientist said...

That's true tris. Wasn't that ginger in Simply Red gay ?
I'd check Harry's teeth for diamond implants and his CD collection for Softcell and Abba. That's usually the clincher

potty liberals said...

I wonder if Harry will have time to reorder the pot plants that Laws cancelled ? It would help him with his gay following.

http://conservativehome.blogs.com/centreright/2010/05/what-david-laws-did-with-a-pot-plant.html

Dark Lochnagar said...

Politico, what are ytou trying to say. You mean you've to give Cleggy a good seeing to?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tris, I despair if any of them are straight, but as he's just had a wean with a Woman person(!), I have high hopes for the boy. That is if he lasts with the CGT scandal! Fuck me! Did Cleggy not check them out properly?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Politico, I'm told, that Hucknel is a serial woman shagger. Just as well the dick's got dosh. What an ugly bastard!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Potters, interesting site. The civil servants must have been glad to see the back of Laws. He probably cut their lunch hour!

Down in the smoke said...

I'm confused now. Just what is the definition of a bent Liberal?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, Jeremy Thorpe!

subrosa said...

I disagree DL. I think a bent liberal is one with a stoop.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rosie, were you thinking of Fagan?

CrazyDaisy said...

DL

Gave iain dale a wee comment earlier trying to hide fraud with homophobia fuck me if he didn't spend so much time bowling from the pavilion end he'd know his moral position.

Apparently you're not gay if you don t push back, unless you're on a cliff edge!

CD

Sgt Pepperspray said...

I heard that the limpdems parachuted him in as a minority (white, red hair, hetro)in case they needed a safe seat, and for someone to take the piss out of and whisper about when they are planning outings for the marmite tunnel brigade. He won't last long in the job once he realises that the G in LGBT does not stand for ginger.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, I don't mind Dale but I can't help myself digging him up. Some of the tweets the fucker tweets are fucking outrageous. I've grown quite fond of that medium. I haven't noticed you on. Do you not do it or have I just missed you?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, 'the marmite tunnel brigade'. I like that! What does LGBT stand for?

Sgt Pepperspray said...

LGBT = Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender. Seems like every council, police force and government department needs an LGBT liason officer. Hope that clarifies it DL. Excellent Blogg by the way.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, thanks. and thanks for translating that. I'm a wee bit slow on the uptake, although I shouldn't be as I have a very strong gay following!

p.s. what the fuck's a transgender?

Sgt Pepperspray said...

If only they had internet access in the cells last night DL (suppose I should have remembered my human rights and demanded a laptop) I would have read your comment regarding "transgender" DL. However I have phoned the plod and asked them to send an LGBT liason officer round today. I think a transgender is some kind of device that convets electricity from one power to another, fuck knows what I am going to do when the liason officer arrives but it might save me money on the leccy bill (as long as it converts to my advantage).

Dark Lochnagar said...

Sarge, it certinly sounds like some sort of appliance of science. I wonder if one of my 'Gay' followers could explain that to me, but possibly they have stopped reading the comments on this thread as it is moving down the page. Anyway, it's 4 o'clock and the sun's out and you have got to take advantage of it when you can, so here I go!