Saturday, 3 April 2010

SMOKERS ARE THICK BASTARDS-CLAIMS NEW REPORT


A cigarette dangling lazily from the mouth was once the telltale sign of an intellectual, but new evidence suggests it may have signalled quite the opposite.
Smokers have lower IQs than those who abstain, with intelligence decreasing the more one smokes, researchers have found.

This is not exactly rocket science.  When you see them standing outside a pub having a fag they generally look like a cross between a paedophile's outing, the dafties from the local care home, a collection of tramps and a Binman's outing from the 70s!  I mean anyone who is still smoking today is either, a thick bastard, too weak willed to stop or doesn't give a fuck about their health.  I come from the point of view as an ex-smoker who has stopped and started on several occasion but has now stopped finally for about ten years.  I have always said however, if my Doctor tells me I have THREE MONTHS TO LIVE my first move will be for  a PACKET OF MALBOROUGH!  So I suppose that would then put me in the DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEIR HEALTH CATEGORY! 

8 comments:

Lord Mandy of Bhoys said...

I enjoy a fag and no one would call me stupid ( and get away with it).

Dark Lochnagar said...

Lord Mandy, well, you shouln't call the Capatains of industry who wrote to the papers complaining about you 'tax on jobs' stupid either. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, you , formerly what I would call bent bastard until I got my new gay following, bounder!

banned said...

Some dizzy slapper in the Telegraph was harping on about unhealthy eating and how Turkey Twizzlers should become as socially unacceptable as "drink driving and smoking are", cunt.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, why the fuck would you stand outside a pub eating Turkey Twizzlers?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Or even worse smoking them?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Would they not keep going out and be difficult to re-light?

banned said...

She's a cunt because
A) she equates drink driving and smoking
B) She declares that smoking is socially unnaceptable, they might want it so and to some it might be but not yet to all.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, I see you point, but surely it's down to degrees. A) Smoking can be worse than drink driving if 1) you are caught first thing in the morning and 2) if you knock the end off your fag in the car, it burns your balls and causes a hideous crash involving 20 cars and 35 dead and injured. I once got stopped years ago after having drunk a litre of vodka the night before at 1 pm and got away with it. Good job I'm a fat bastard!

and B) I don't think that smoking is socially unacceptable as long as my heart and lungs are not involved and as long as I'm not stinking of your smoke afterwards, unless I want to be.

Anyway what's all that to do with smoking Turkey Twizlers? Are they a bit like Camels?