Friday, 2 April 2010

ARE THERE ANY WEE THINGS IN LIFE THAT ANNOY YOU?


Are there any small, inconsequential things in life that annoy you?

I'll tell you what it is with me.  I eat between 4 and 6 apples a day depending on what size they are, (healthy bastard), and you know those FUCKING LITTLE STICKERS the Supermarkets stick on them so the FUCKING THICK, CHECKOUT PERSON knows the difference between the particular varieties for charging, well why is it you CAN NEVER GET THE BASTARDS OFF!

32 comments:

Clarinda said...

Trying to remove the foil inner tops from plastic milk containers that are welded on to the rim with reinforced superglue.
Failing every time to "Peel Here" on the vaccum pack of bacon - resulting in the use of nearest sharp instrument and elastoplast.
Failing to register the 'Push' sign while tugging violently at a door.
All above, and more, resulting in thinly disguised senior moments.

Institute of Studies. Brussels. said...

Don't blame the supermarkets Mr DL. These stickers actually grow with the fruit and are a result of GM ( genetically modified) science. They are designed to enhance the apple buying experience by allowing consumers the ability to read what apple they are buying. If you look at a young apple growing in a tree you will see a tiny dot on the skin. This is the growing sticker and is very vulnerable. Approx 400 tonnes of fruit is destroyed each year due to sticker damage or 'spellingus abnormalis ' ( sticker too badly deformed to be read by a checkout operator ).
I hope this clarifies the matter.

RantinRab said...

I always make sure that the wee stickers on the apples are well and trully stuck down, just to annoy you!

Getitupye!!

pepper eater said...

Rab. Why are green, red and yellow peppers 90p each FFS ?! Well in the co-op anyway. Not sure about your gaff.
It can't be that expensive to grow the things. You can buy a humongous bag of spuds for 90p.

Conan the Librarian™ said...

"Are there any small, inconsequential things in life that annoy you?"

Iain Gray.

Dawn Abbott said...

"Are there any small, inconsequential things in life that annoy you?"

Sarah Teather

Down in the Smoke said...

"Are there any small, inconsequential things in life that annoy you?"

Every other cunt in London.

subrosa said...

I don't like apples and I've 2 apple trees. Mind you love stewed apple.

A comment from Jim at my place DL on the Glasgow post:

DL has clearly not read my PhD dissertation: 'The Post-Obfuscatory Deconstructionist Semiotics of the Stiff Kickin' and the Phenomenology of Cathected Gonadal Retrotopography' (1966; Glasgow Royal Infirmary Press).

CrazyDaisy said...

Mrs CD sadly she's english

D

Don't Call Me Dave said...

If we are talking apples, why are supermarkets still selling English Coxes? Their season ended months ago. They are selling us produce that has been kept in cold storage since late September. We are now into the season for the New Zealand variety, but by the time the supermarkets deign to sell them to us, they will all be soft. As every apple lover knows, you can’t beat a nice hard Cox!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Clarinda, Hi. Those are perfect examples and are things that annoy me, as well. Not as much as those wee stickers mind you. Yes, those senior moments when you go into a room for a cupboard to get something and then forget what it was. Classic.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Brussels, all that is very interesting, but tell me this and you'd probably know, how come you don't get them on sprouts?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, I happen to know for a fact that they don't sell apples in Morrisons in Kilmarnock. Thery are far too healthy for fat, Killy bastards. Anyway you work in the chicken department. Probably choking them!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Pepper eater, I can answer that. It's because they are exotic and have to be flown in from Peru or somewhere similiar. Buy the frozen one and use them when you want, how you want. Much cheaper. Christ I'm giving out consumer information now. What kind of a blog is this becoming?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Conan, I can see the reaon for your answer but he is too big a thing. In my case it would be Murphy, but he doesn't count.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Abboters, I'm going to allow Sarah Teather. Why is she always on Question Time. I must have txtd in 10 txts on Thursday about her and not one got on. That's a waste of time, I think they make them up before hand.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Smokers, Yes I'll let that in as it's an environmental consequence!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rosie, are they eaters? If so I'll come up to Dundee and pick them, it will save me a fortune. That dissertation is made up BTW. I have some medical knowledge!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Daisy, I afraid it doesn't count. Now if she picks her nose and eats it or farts in bed and forces your head under the covers for a sniff, that would count!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Honourable Fred, I prefer the Johnagold variety. £0.63/kilo in Asda, juicy, crunchy and cheap. You can stick your English Cox up your arse. If you see what I mean.

banned said...

Not fond of apples myself but I used to live in a house built on an old orchard, my garden had three apple trees that produced way more fruit than could ever be eaten or given away.

Some local 'wee neds' got into the habit of climbing over the fences and gardens of my of mine and neighbouring gardens as a shortcut to nowhere in particular so I dug a wide and deep trench, mulched up fucking tons of said apples, filled the trench, thoroughly soaked them, covered it lightly with mud. Hey presto, one set of leg-prints later, problem solved!

banned said...

DL, as you know I had not been intending to do much blogging for a while but something has really boiled my piss! Did you see that discracefull vid of Hackney schoolkids praising Diane Abbott? Old Holborn and others covered it, Youtube deleted it once it got seen by more that the Labour fuckwits who like that sort of thing and now they have deleted the Daily Motion upload as posted by Barking Spider.

I've reposted it on my blog and hope that many other bloggers do likewise, Labour must not get away with self-censorship of their own hideous propaganda. Bunch of Nazi cunts, Goebells would have been proud of them.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, The only problem with doing that, i.e. the trench, is that if one of the little twats had broken his leg, you could have been sued. I owned a factory and this little bastard kept on breaking through the roof and breaking into the coffee machine. Not a lot of damage just a hassle. My solution was to put barbed wire round the roof trusses, but the Police told me I couldn't do that in my own property in case he fell to his death on the concrete floor, then I would be held for manslaughter. They knew who he was. So I just got one of the boys to give him a doing, solution!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, yeh I saw that video, a fucking disgrace. I didn't stick it up because everyone and their dog had it and it's really English politics as inner London is a rule unto it's self. Mind you it was disappearing at a rate of knots!

banned said...

Not so DL, I was merely enriching my garden by ploughing its own fruits back into the soil.
A copper explained at the time that while it is illegal to put razor wire on any fence adjoining a public space (highway, park etc) it seems it is fine when between two private properties.

As to the vid, the issue now is not the vid itself but Labours attempts to censor it, for very shame, using the feeble claim of copyright infringement that everybody does all the time (including you and I with virtually every pic that we post or even view!).

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, well if one feels the need to enrich one's garden then one should enrich away! At least it worked. The vid story will go nowhere until the MSM picks it up. I was wishing that 'This Week' had been on on Thursday to see if it was mentioned.

subrosa said...

DL, a friend gave me the latest defination of a senior moment.

'When you go into a room and wonder where you are.'

So Clarinda we've a wee bit to go yet. ;)

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rosie, aye I suppose it must be bad when you go into a room and you don't know whose house you're in!

Institute of Studies, Brussels. said...

DL. The sprout is the emblem of Brussels so can't be stickered. That's why they should always be sold in containers or bags.

pepper eater said...

DL. I've never tried frozen peppers. Won't they break my teeth ?
Pineapples and avacados are cheaper than these pepper bastards. Gonne get a greenhouse and grow my own.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Bruxelles, yes what you say is true. But however it is a little known fact that practically all the sprouts in the World are grown round about Peterborough as are most of the peas. So another thing that Belgium is not famous for. Next time use your real name ROMPUOY!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Pepper eater, as I don't know where you stay I can't offer you the gardening advice which this blog along with consumer advice is becoming famous for. However I would say that if you stay further north than the Watford Gap, forget it. Unless you stay in Peterborough of course. Wherever that is.