Saturday, 3 April 2010

HUNTINGTON USA TELLS JAMIE OLIVER TO GO HOME AND BTW-STICK YOUR LETTUCE UP YOUR ARSE!

Huntington, West Virginia, is a small city nestled along the bank of the Ohio River.  It has  been recently crowned the fattest city in the U.S., which is the developed world’s most unhealthy country.
Huge teenagers slope about on street corners, smoking and drinking fizzy drinks, (SMOKING A FIZZY DRINK AIN'T EASY),  from enormous containers. More shocking, though, is that no one’s staring. Not even covertly. Because fat is normal here. Almost half the population is clinically obese, (who gives a fuck, they're insured, Ed).

Which is why Jamie Oliver, (annoying cockney fucker!),  chose it as the setting for his controversial new TV series, Jamie’s Food Revolution — currently causing a stir in America — in which he tackles the city’s dire eating habits by changing school meals, educating parents and setting up a ‘non-profit cooking education centre’ to teach people how to shop for and cook healthy meals.
However people in the FAIR TOWN have told OLIVER to FUCK OFF HOME where he belongs and while he's at it, he can stick HIS LETTUCE UP HIS LIMEY ARSEHOLE!

SEEMS FAIR ENOUGHT TO ME!

13 comments:

banned said...

Having caused a decline in school meals uptake in Britain Jamie is pobably being paid by some health lobby to promote his shite agenda. Obviously you could find the fattest city in any country, even X-Biafra, and use it to lecture everybody.

"‘We’ve got a history of abuse,’ explains Mayor Wolfe. ‘We’ve been called hillbillies, backwards, barefoot and uneducated, so it hurts when people come in and criticise us.’.
Diddums, he'd be chasing me down the street for being a skinny SOB trying to ruin their economy.

Captain Haddock said...

I wish some fat Septic would eat the cunt .. so we don't have to listen to his inane whining any more ..

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, the cockney cunt does it as if it's some big altruistic crusade and at the same time he's making fortunes from the TV prog and the books etc. If they're fucking Hillbillies why don't they shoot him after they've shagged the fuck out of him like in the film 'deliverance'?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Haddocks, excellent idea. They should sent the cunt to the Amazon to some tribe that have never seen a white man and thinks they look fucking delicious, particularly the blond, 'cheek chappy', ones!

Jim Baxter said...

That's rotten. The poor man obviously has primary amyloidosis which is why is tongue is too big for his mouth, his head is too big for his brain, and his ambition is much, much bigger than his talent.

food expert said...

His food is shit aswell. Looks good until he covers it with all that olive oil and wine vinegar shite. Puts me off my burgers.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Jim, welcome over from that serious place from whence you have come. Unforunately talent nowadays seems to be equated to how much money you can make. Look at Simon Cowell or whatever he's called, a twat of the first degree. Or the guy that invented 'pork scratchings'. His career went downhill very quickly. Mind you he wasn't an annoying little, cockney fucker like Jamie.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Food expert, your problem is I culd be so bold, is that you are not adding lime juice to you olive oil, onion marinade. A common mistake but not one that the GREAT DELIA would make. She knocks Oliver into a cooked hat, so to speak.

banned said...

Here's another of the fuckers

Little Gordon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcZqwR9tbJE

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, that's a cracker. That guy could really make it!

banned said...

Did you see the others? funny as F**k, from the moth of babes.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, Aye I watched them all, as you say funny as fuck. Brilliant wee actor, but I hope his parents kicked his arse for all that swearing!

Cup half full said...

You guys are all unbelievable.
My guess is your all fat, crap eating, would'nt know decent food if it landed in your lap, cup half empty miserables, cynical sods.
These kids didn't even know what a tomato or potato looked like! That unacceptable in a 1st world country. Do you care about the health of our kids?
People do die of obesity. They suffer.
Is it just possible that he's authentic?? or are you that cynical as a way of life to entertain the idea that maybe he's on the level. My guess is you are. More fool you.
At least he's trying to make a difference. Who cares if he gets paid!
What are you doing to change this fat, fat county??