Sunday, 4 April 2010


At little more than the length of a single bicycle, the £2,000 road marking has left cyclists in Cardiff bemused.
The feature, thought to be the shortest cycle lane in Britain, has been installed to encourage green transport.  There's lovely!

Just while I'm on the subject of bikes, why is it cyclists can't just go out for a bike ride without looking like a refugee from the fucking 'Tour De France'?  I mean you don't go out for a run in the car dressed like Jensen Button, do you?  You don't go out for a walk dressed like someone from the Olympic Game's 5000m walking race?  So why go out on a bike dressed like a reject from a Lycra shop?  Do you realise how fucking stupid you look?


banned said...

Within our local Sainsburies property is a roundabout; one exit for customer car park, one exit for deliveries, one exit to, well "Exit" FFS! and the third is blanked off after about three yards by a dead railway embankment and is used for informal parking.
After about six months "they" came along and marked it up as a Cycle Lane, WTF for? Who knows?

On your wider topic of "militant cyclists" who think they are so fucking cool; one of my sad pleasures in life is to scream "bad cyclist" whenever they mount the pavement outside my office just to avoid some trifling No Entry sign on the road.

Jim Baxter said...

Why does a certain class of miserable old git hate pedal cyclists with such a passion? It's a serious question. I'd like to know the answer, being in that class of miserable old git myself.

Is it possible to hate pedal cyclists and be a vegetarian or eat macrobiotic 'foods'? I suspect not. Is it possible to like them and smoke sixty Capstan a day, drive a 1970s car that does 12 to the gallon and smokes more than you do, etc.?

What does it all mean?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, You must be one of the people mentioned by Mr Baxter in the next comment. My favourite shout from the car is at road workmen who are standing doing fuck all. Yes, you've guessed it, "GET ON WITH YOUR WORK YOU LAZY FUCKERS, I'M PAYING YOUR WAGES". Great Fun!

Dark Lochnagar said...

James, I know not what you mean! I drive a very economical diesel car which gets 50 to the gallon and I haven't smoked for 10 years. I used to rip the pish out of my Brother-in-Law who went out with all that crap on and he was only 5 years younger than me when he died of a heart attack, 10 years ago at 40. Maybe something to be said for fat unhealthy bastards like me. To be fair to him, he once followed the route of the Tour de France, one day behind the main race.

Jim Baxter said...

DL, aye. It's a lottery OK.

I've been a raving boozer and general issue self-destructive 'hero' since my teens, forty years ago. I'm still standing and giving gyp to innocent bystanders. Yet I've known decent, responsible folk... well, of course, they're gone.

We mostly think the same about the nanny state, those of us who rant on blogs. Fuck off and let us die in our chosen agony in peace at the age we choose.

The irony is that those who make no effort to live longer because they've had enough already often outlive those who think they want more and will latch on to any old crap that they're told could make it happen.

You can't win. The joke's on all of us.

wee boaby said...

Jim said..

"those who make no effort to live longer because they've had enough already often outlive those who think they want more"

I've noticed this a lot with my relatives. I think it's because these type of people are totally stress free seeing as they don't give a fuck.
Stress kills !

Dark Lochnagar said...

James, as you are newish to this blog let me fill you in a wee bit on my background. I have been a fucking serious and I do mean serious drinker for over 30 years although I have it under control now. I am over weight and have one or two things wrong I wish I didn't have. I love the nanny state and I will take any help that is going if it squeezes 5 more minutes of life out of me. To that end I am going in for a fairly serious operation at the end of the month which although not an emergency, will I hope prolong my life by 10 years or so. I no longer drink or smoke, so I am able to take a step back and look at these habits with mnore understanding of the problems both can bring. I am not too stupid to know that 95% of all patients in heart/stroke or circulation wards are smokers. I know because I've been in them. I also am aware of the dangers of too much drink. I've had too many mates and relatives died before their time not to grasp with both hands any help I can get from in particular the Scottish NHS, which I rate as excellent. Which could be construed as a bit strange coming from a sort of Nationalist Tory.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Boabs, I think it depends on the stress. When I was running my own fairly large business, I handled stress without any problem. I also imagine if I won a sizable amount on the lottery, I would be stress free. So stress is different to different people. Some people can handle it better than others.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anonymous, it's beacuse of stupid fuckpigs like you I am considering banning anonymous comments. Fuck off somewhere son. Does Mummy know you're still up?

Jim Baxter said...


Glad to hear things are looking better for you and trust the op gets you the result you need.

I agree about the NHS in Scotland. I've had quite a few dealings with them in recent times when I have gone especially funny in the head and they've been brilliant.

Different story in parts of England, sad to say. I know some people in the Midlands who've been in major pain and have had a terrible time waiting for treatment.

Dark Lochnagar said...

James, We should just thank our lucky stars we have a 'nannying' SNP government. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Prompt, whom I can ask?