Monday, 8 February 2010

ENGLAND AWAKES IN HORROR TO FIND THE WHITE CLIFFS ARE BEING SOLD TO THE FRENCH!



For generations Dover has stood as an indomitable symbol of England's freedom and independence.
The town, with its white cliffs, port and sprawling castle stood at the very edge of the nation’s frontier with the Continent.  But now part of that proud history is up for sale and the leading bidder is revealed as the former age-old enemy – France.

"Well you FRENCHIES, you can take our WHITE CLIFFS, but you'll never take our BLUEBIRDS"!  (THE SOUND OF THE HYMN JERLUSELEM PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND)

13 comments:

HeadsonPoles said...

Don't.
Don't say a fucking word.
CUNT.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, I come out in solidarity with my English brothers and that's your attitude. My Dad liked Vera Lynn!

blue sky thinker said...

Is it not Blue Skies rather than bluebirds DL ?

HeadsonPoles said...

Sorry, mixed up messages - I was referring to the one who decided to do this deed - not the messenger!

blue sky thinker said...

Just checked lyrics. You're right DL. It is blue birds.Seems strange though. Only ever seen bluebirds in Canada and at the film Avatar..

madmioselle lynn said...

There’ll be blue birds over,
The French cliffs of Douvres???

Dark Lochnagar said...

Blue Sky, Old DL never forgets a lyric! It did strike me as a bit strange at the time. What fucking blue birds are there in Britain apart from a few blue tits. And I don't mean that streaker at the ice hockey before you ask.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Headson, I'm glad about that. I nearly took the cream puff!

Dark Lochnagar said...

Madmioselle, would that be the Hors Douvres?

aka Grappin said...

I said that blasted Tunnel would lead to trouble – damn Frenchies; the whole country will smell of garlic shortly.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Grappins, actually I'm quite partial to a wee bit of garlic particularly funnily enough when accompanied avec le beurre et les championes. I even am partial to a few snails, although I can't eat more than 18 then they make me boke, (Scottish word for violent sickness like a drunk would do).

Stout Heart said...

That’s what happens when you unwashed Jocks wash each Whelk down with a pint of heavy.

No delicacy, that’s your problem and I know that because Reggie managed to swallow 24 Oysters in Scott’s but he washed em down with Pol Roger so there was no problem.

Maybe if they were deep fried you could keep them down longer.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Stouters, your slip is showing. No self respecting 'Jock' would put a whelk anywhere near his mouth. That's for you Southerners, old chappy. Yes, Reggie is a tad uncouth but of course Scott's is sooo old hat. Try Clinker's in Notting Hill, so much more you, what? Oysters deep fried for your info are so it in Monaco this spring. I shared a plate of 18 with David Coulthard just the other day, and delicious they were too. Try them with a squeeze of lemon and some finely shredded scallions.