Wednesday, 13 January 2010

WORLD'S FIRST ROBOTIC SEX DOLL HITS THE MARKET!


The world's first life-size "robotic girlfriend" has been unveiled in the United States - and she's even more "user-friendly" than previous models.

Roxxxy is much more than a sex doll, according to manufacturer.  Roxxxy, complete with artificial intelligence and flesh-like synthetic skin, has taken out-of-luck lovers by the shirt collar at an annual adult entertainment show in Las Vegas.  "She's the best shag I've ever had".  That is how Douglas Hines, president of manufacturer TrueCompanion, described the £4,000, 5ft 7in rubber doll.

But far from being just "a full C cup and ready for action", Roxxxy's mechanical heart is said to be enough to win any man over.  “Sex only goes so far, then you want to be able to talk to the person,” Mr Hines assured.  "She's a companion. She has a personality. She hears you. She listens to you. She speaks. She feels your touch. She goes to sleep.  She gives blow-jobs.  She's into kinky sex. She can't walk, but she can talk.

If they can just train her to COOK, IRON,  DO THE HOOVERING AND SHUT-UP WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING THE FOOTBALL, THEY'LL MAKE A FORTUNE!  I wonder if they do a lesbian version?

14 comments:

Shades Of Ansel said...

The lezzer bit I like.As for the rest of it,isn't it a bit sad that some choked up cock thinks she resembles real communication with a female.I'd prefer to not spend thousands,have a wank into a hankie and keep my bank balance happy.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Ansel, I agree it is a bit sad, but then again it's an American invention. Mind you, it might get lonely in some backwoods house in the Alhabama swamps or in some 'But and Ben' in the Highlands with only sheep to shag. I would have thought though that the internet would raise all sorts of wanking opportunities but maybe they don't get Broadband. Stop wanking into a hankie BTW they cost too much, use a bit of super absorbent kitchen roll.

Tiger said...

Do they do blondes aswell DL ?

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tiger, I'm sure that for someone with your money, they might even do a black one. I believe the blonde is the second part of the Lesbian version.

Tiger said...

I don't do black !

Dark Lochnagar said...

Tiger, sorry forgot!

banned said...

DL, one day I might tell you the story about me and a mate going to Soho to buy two blow up dolly sex toys. Enough said but, since the matter has been raised, black ones cost twice as much as the pink variety though no doubt equality and diversity laws has put an end to such flagrant discrimination.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, so what's the story, I'm not doing anything at the moment. I was under the impression the more servicable holes they had the more you paid! Mind you I belive that dark brown plastic is dearer than the white variety, at least that's what they tell you when you want your rhones or windows done on the house.

banned said...

Not much really, it was the almost joint 21st birthday of a his'n'hers couple so two of us with motorbikes were despatched to the West End ('bikes being easier to get around and park) to buy two dolls as a mocking present.
Being all leathered-up we realised that we must look quite pervy going into the sex shops and slunk out slyly a couple of times before reviewing our strategy.
At the third attempt we strode in, boldy demanding "Oi, Mate!, how much for the dolls?" this time the few other customers scattered but the proprietor seemed relieved to have some genuine punters for once, gave us the run-down on prices and tried to interest us in his other merchandise. We settled for two pinkies for thirty quid, bargain!

Later that evening the birthday couple emerged from the pub to find a fully blown sex doll superglued to the seats of their identical motorbikes.
One of them survived, the doll that is, for many years and was regularly produced at house parties to much amusement if a little shock to newer members of our social scene.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned. That's one of these stories that far outweighs the thirty quid igt cost you for the dolls. But did anyone ever shag one and if so how was the quality od said shag?

banned said...

The thirty quid was from a whip round (no pun intended), she survived for years so who knows what one or more of the lads might have got up to in an idle or bored moment. She had three orifices, a mouth shaped thus 'O', a fanny 'O' and an identicle rear end, 'O'.
She had a nickname, Wendy or Bridget, something like that but for the life of me, I can't recall it.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, but was her fanny hairy?

banned said...

Kinda, she sprouted some sort of wirey nylon 'hairs'.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Banned, fuck me. You could scratch your balls on that. A bit like shagging a black woman. You would be as well scraping a dry 'Brillo' pad over your tackle.