GORDON Brown's plan for a class war against the Conservatives was in tatters last night after it emerged that one of his MPs is named Quentin. Downing Street admitted that Quentin Davies was a defence minister who had joined the Labour Party in 2007, but insisted Mr Brown called him 'Steve' whenever they were alone.
A spokesman said: "The prime minister is so working class that he cannot bring himself to say the name Quentin without wanting to punch someone. "Nevertheless, it's not fair to single someone out based on something they had no control over. Steve did not choose to be named Quentin.
"Nor did he choose to work as a merchant banker for 20 years, accumulating millions and millions of pounds, some of which he then used to buy a massive country house with a belltower that he now desperately needs you to pay for. His parents made him do all those things." HARRIET HARMAN will now be called 'SANDRA' and AlisTAIR Darling is now henceforth to be known as 'BERT'.