The jack-booted German prankster, Adolf Hitler, today claimed to be more popular and to have more relevant policies for the people of Scotland than either Pol Pot or Scottish Labour Leader, Iain Gray.
"OK, he said, I made have made a fucking arse of it the last time I was in power, starting a World War which killed twenty million people and exterminating all those Jewish people, but fuck me, everyone deserves a second chance"
Recent opinion polls show that more people in Scotland would rather see Hitler becoming Scottish Labour Leader than Pol Pot or the current Leader, Iain Gray.
"At least I have some policies and just don't go around moaning my fucking face off about the SNP", he said. "Some people still find that a wee invasion of France and Poland might be fun and I'm going to leave the Jews and Gypsies alone this time and go after the Muslims. Gray's policies are more extreme than mine and people just won't accept that. Anyway my cheeky wee smile and witty quips are better than theirs."
A spokesman for First Minister, Alex Salmond, said, "Adolf Hitler, WHAT A FUDD."