Prime Minister GORDON BROWN, yesterday unveiled his latest plan to get the country back on it feet. HAIRLESS SEXUAL ORGANS.
Under the plan, thought to have been devised by LORD MANDELSON, all adults over the age of 18 will be obligated by law to have SHAVED PUBES.
"This will have three advantages, explained a Government Spokesperson, it will save the NHS money having to employ Specialist pube shaving Nurses in Hospitals and all unemployed youths will be expected to do a six week pube shaving stint for fat people who can't reach their organs and Senior Citizens. All pubic hair collected will be spun and knitted into Jumpers to keep the Poor and Old warm this winter thereby negating the need for a WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE".
The Banks will instead be given the additional funds so they can make their usual bonus payments.