BRITISH ARMY TOLD TO FIRE BLANKS!

British soldiers banned from using live bullets to save money

British soldiers are being forced to train with blanks rather than live rounds to save money The entire Territorial Army (TA) and a number of non frontline regular army units will be affected by the ban on the use of real bullets in personal weapons, according to defence sources. The bullet ban is the result of a £700m cut in the money available to run the army in the UK.

Soldiers are required to maintain basic standards of proficiency in the use of their weapons; the SA80 is the standard issue service rifle, while officers use a Browning 9mm pistol. They must pass an annual test, demonstrating their ability to clean their weapons, fire at a target to calibrate or “zero” the sights, and then achieve a specific score firing live rounds. They fire a minimum of 100 live rounds, with the average non-infantry soldier firing about 300 a year. The cost of a single SA80 live round is approximately 30p, compared with 10p for a blank.


"We are going to try and get an agreement with the TALIBAN to use paint-ball guns instead. It would make sense both in CASUALTY NUMBERS AND COST if we just shouted BANG BANG, YOU'RE DEAD! Our only cost then would be cleaning the PAINT OFF THE UNIFORMS although PERSIL ARE KEEN ON A SPONSORSHIP DEAL. The army would have to have the logo "sponsored by PERSIL, NON-BIO, WASHES PAINT AT 30 DEGREES" on the back of their jackets. We would sort of blend it in to the CAMOUFLAGE SO IT DIDN'T STICK OUT TOO MUCH," an army spokesman said yesterday.



A TALIBAN SPOKESMAN told Dark Lochnagar, "FUCK PERSIL, we find that ARIEL BIO used at 40 degrees leaves our white DESERT GEAR BEAUTIFULLY WHITE AND SOFT, WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAFING UNDER THE OXTERS."