Tuesday, 7 July 2009


Thousands in airport security alert
July 07 2009
THOUSANDS of travellers were evacuated from Scotland's second largest airport yesterday after army bomb disposal experts were called to deal with a suspicious package left in a toilet.
Some families were ordered off their planes and the check-in and security screening processes were halted, forcing people to wait on the approach roads outside the terminals at Edinburgh Airport.
Other travellers were also held up in the arrivals hall during the mass evacuation, which lasted for two-and-half hours.
The "suspicious package" was later found to have been left by BIG TAM SCOBIE, FAE DALKEITH, who last night insisted on having third helpings of the Vindaloo Beef Curry at the "TAJ" INDIAN RESTAURANT IN ROSE STREET, where Sunday Night is "EAT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN FOR A TENNER".
MR SCOBIE had started the night off with nine pints of heavy, "afore he went ontae the wee voddies".
Mr Singh, the proprietor of the "Taj" Restaurant said, "Yes ideedy, I am remembering BIG TAM, the big man is a regular and by the way we also do a very good "BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE", night on a Tuesday" "Last orders 1 A.M.".
Security staff at the airport's first suspected a LETHAL GAS ATTACK. The supervisor on the shift a Mr Charles Farquar told reporters, "aye, the smell was fucking bowfin like, eh". "We called in the Bomb Squad right away and aefter their controlled explosion, there was fucking shite a'ways, eh", "it'll take a month tae get the shite oot the cracks, eh".
A spokesman for BAA said that flights will be in the meantime be diverted to Glasgow, a real airport, where, terrorists can expect a good doing from baggage handlers.

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