REUTERS- A torrential downpour has washed away many parts of CENTRAL LONDON with the HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT and 10 DOWNING STREET almost wiped off the map!
Damage is said to run into £BILLIONS and although casualties have been fairly high, London was fortunate that it was a Sunday night and pedestrian and vehicular traffic was light.
ATTRACTIONS like the LONDON EYE are just a mangled pile of metal as water reckoned to have a force of three million gallons per minute cascaded down the Thames
However it's not all been bad news as a FULL MEETING OF THE CABINET was taking place in Downing Street and they have all been swept away, feared drowned. Should by any chance you should find one of the USELESS BASTARDS, STILL BREATHING, please hit them on the head with a sharp object as quickly as possible before checking for lack of pulse and phoning the POLICE.
Unfortunately some other LYING, CONNIVING BASTARDS WILL BE TAKING THEIR PLACE SHORTLY!