GORDON BROWN SECTIONED!

Thanks to tractor stats for the photo

Reports are reaching us tonight that THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, GORDON BROWN has been dragged out of no 11 Downing Street to the Westminster Physiatric Hospital where he has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act of 1961.

A senior Labour source, Prime Minister Lord Mandelson said tonight, " I would like to pay tribute to Gordon, who although as Chancellor got us into this fucking awful mess, has been becoming increasingly delusional". "Since Tony retired and asked me to take over as PM, Gordon has had the weird idea that he was PM". " He even held a cabinet reshuffle without telling me, the old one-eyed TWAT".

"I knew that it was a bad idea letting him bat for me, so to speak, at PMQs as of course as a Lord, I am not allowed in the Lower Chamber". "It would have been a better idea getting Harriet to do it, but in some ways I felt sorry for him, but Cameron just made a fucking arse of him".

His wife, the LESBIAN GAY RIGHTS CAMPAIGNER said, " I am afraid Gordon has been going round the bend for some time now, I wish I'd never let him join in my LESBIAN SESSIONS WITH CHERIE BLAIR, but sitting in the corner masturbating seemed to give him some release, so to speak". "Of course it made an awful mess of the carpet, unfortunately".

Mr Brown seems to be getting on well with his fellow patients, God, the Pope, Elvis Presley and Alistair Darling.

One hundred and seventy four former members of the Cabinet who have resigned in the last two years are expected to apply for their jobs back.