It has been announced that in future all MPs will lose their right to have second homes in London and instead will be put up at the WESTERN HOTEL, BERMONDSEY.
Dinner will consist of a BOWL OF RICE AND A CHAPPATTI. MPs will therefore be able to get the authentic REFUGEE EXPERIENCE without having to jet off on expensive and unnecessary foreign junkets at the taxpayers' expense.
Office accommodation is provided but MPs are asked to bring their OWN CANDLES.
PARTNER'S ACCOMODATION is also provided at a daily rate of £256, but all partners will be expected to muck in making up beds and cooking the EVENING MEAL.