In a shock move today, THE GREAT LEADER, sacked his BROTHER after the controversy surrounding his employment as CLEANER IN NO 10.
In an equally shock move, his OLD MUM, INDHIRA, has been brought out of retirement and forced to clean up after Gordon and Sarah.
"I was enjoying my retirement", Indhira said, "but if my son needs me, I'll see what I can do".
"I must admit though, I didn't think I'd be clearing out the SHITEHOUSE on my first day" she laughed "and that SARAH could SHITE FOR SCOTLAND."
It is also reported that BROWN is paying her well below the minimum wage because she is a pensioner.
"But to be fair" she says, "he does let me fix all the broken mobiles and printers that he flings around and if I can fix them he lets me sell them to his Cabinet Colleagues. "I got good money off Jack Straw last week for a NOKIA 98 for his son's Christmas", she chortles!
DAVID CAMERON, THE CONSERVATIVE LEADER SAYS, " I'm fucking seething! " I wanted a NOKIA for my wife's Birthday, now I'll need to buy one and put it on my exes, fucking one-eyed BASTARD"!
More rumours later..........