A war of words has broken out between English and Scottish academics over the ownership of a 700-year-old letter to Scots national hero William Wallace.
The letter, widely believed to have been snatched from Wallace when he was captured by the English, should be returned to Scotland, according to historians north of the border.
And the Scottish Government has now renewed its appeal to have the letter - which granted Wallace safe passage to visit the pope in 1300 - transferred to The Scottish National Archives.
If we don't get it pronto, we'll be down with the Prince across the Water to kick the shite out of you, English bastards and this time we won't be stopping at Derby, not even if you offer us deep fried Mars bars, we'll be eating nothing but a handful of cold haggis, which we keep in our sporns, because we've no Bawbees after that bastard Osborne cut our buroo money!
If that doesn't work, we'll send down some more politicians! We've got a Parliament full of them and they're nearly all Unionits, who are dying to get enriched in the 'Mother of all Parliaments'!
