He is an idle, pea-brained glutton with a permanent craving for doughnuts and Duff beer, but Homer Simpson has been declared a true Catholic by the Vatican's official newspaper.
The Orange Order in Scotland have been swamped with calls from Orangemen from all over Scotland, all asking the same question. Can Homer be a 'Tim'?
The Grand Master has tonight allayed some of his organisation's fears by issuing a statement. "Homer Simpson has been accused of being a Fenian, by that fucker of Rome. Let me assure the membership that Simpson has never 'kicked with his left foot, has never been seen blessing himself and has never worn a Celtic strip. Apart from that, he's practically Orange. We feel however, that there might be some Caribbean blood there due to the size of his lips, but as a antonym to that, they are all obviously in the KKK due to the shapes of their heads, which would fit neatly under the KKK uniform hood".
