TODAY, A GREAT SCOTTISH CITY, GLASGOW, FINALLY DIED.

Today a great Scottish city and many would say the "greatest Scottish city", Glasgow, finally died.

Glasgow was once known as the second city of the Empire.  It's engineering capacity and Universities were the envy of the world.  It had more parkland than any other city in Europe.  Yet, today, after being shit upon from a great height for 60 odd years by a narrow, entrenched, drug taking, corrupt, Scottish Labour dictatorship, they finally made it clear that they are the thick numpty bastards  that the rest of Scotland knew they were.

When at last they had the chance to get out from under the socialist jackboot and vote for a superior and optimistic future, fewer than one in three could be bothered to get off their lardy arses and do it.  Why not?  Was there something good on 'Eastenders', that their Sky boxes paid for, by the rest of us workers couldn't record?  Or were they just too thick to stand up for themselves like the rest of Scotland and see what damage has been done to their community over the years by Labour?  That is the Labour who have used the tried and tested, 'mushroom' theory of keeping them in the dark and feeding them shit, over the last 60 years.  It makes you wonder how many election irregularities will be picked up this time?  Aye, but they'll tell you, "my family has always voted Labour since we came from the Irish potato famine/the Ayrshire coalmines/the Great Depression/the General Strike/the siege of Calcutta"  and what is it you do now?  "Well, I run my own business/I'm a university professor/I'm a senior manager/I'm a company director, etc, etc.  Pricks!

Ach well, fuck 'em, if they're too thick to see what their lives have become, why should the rest of us worry?

BRAND NEW FANTASY SHOW COMING TO SCOTTISH TELEVISION STARRING A FAT, SPECCY, GAY BASTARD!

UPDATE:  This is the comment you get from the twisted, bitter gay lobby when you point out that someone like Steven Purcell is not heterosexual.

ANONYMOUS  SAID......
Well, i'll remain anonymous, and you remain an appalling, hamfisted "writer". You could never get published, but the net convinces you you have some credibility.
Your prose is appalling, your jokes blockheaded and predictable, and your tone is completely without wit.
You're just a useless, bitter, talentless cunt. Cancer is for people like you.
 
WHAT A SAD TWISTED BASTARD!



Details are emerging of a great new fantasy show coming to Scottish Television, starring someone like the fat, speccy, gay bastard in the picture above.

The fat, speccy, gay bastard lives in a city once described as the 'SECOND CITY OF THE EMPIRE'.  A city with more Parks that any other city in Europe.  A city that grew rich on the back of the Tobacco Lords many years before.  A city of rich architecture with many museums and art galleries.  A city where you would think the people would live in great contentment until a very old age.  BUT NO!

This city has been ruled for over 50 years by a political party who claim to be of, and for, the working man.  Yet, many parts of this fair city have districts where an average male can expect to LIVE UNTIL ONLY 54 due to the high level of degradation and ill health.  That is lower than anywhere else in WESTERN EUROPE and practically anywhere else in the world.  Even in the affluent parts of this fair city, recent studies have shown that the populous die at an early age.

But some of the party of the common man has done particularly well out of this arrangement.  In particular the CATHOLIC, CELTIC FOOTBALL CLUB SUPPORTING CABAL of whom the fat, speccy, gay bastard was the leader.  These COMRADES have carved up contracts and positions within the fair city's council for years making themselves rich above their wildest dreams, indeed some became millionaires and their largess was fulsome.
But then DISASTER!  THE FAT, SPECCY, GAY BASTARD BECAME A COKEHEAD AND A DRUNK!  He booked into a clinic and escaped by climbing out of a window.  Captured, and after allegations of blackmail and visits from the Police surfaced in the press, he fled to AUSTRALIA resigning both as LEADER OF THE COUNCIL AND AS A COUNCILLOR.

Now, you would think in a fictional story that the end would have been an investigation by the PUBLIC SPENDING WATCHDOG into CONTRACT IRREGULARITIES and in particular into a COUNCIL OWNED BUILDING COMPANY which only employs LABOUR PLACEMEN and by the POLICE into CRIMINAL MATTERS regarding the council.

But, DON'T BE SILLY!  THIS IS GLASGOW AND THE FAT, SPECCY, GAY BASTARD IS STEVEN PURCELL and they don't do investigations there, in case the POOR,  ILL,  STUPID PEOPLE WAKE UP AND VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE! 

RAT ON A PLANE-200 PASSENGERS EVACUATED AFTER RODENT FOUND ON TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT

More than 200 passengers were ordered off a plane moments before it was due to take off after a large rat was discovered on board.


The RAT was later found to be Jim Murphy M.P., of Eastwood, Glasgow, Scotland.