WHY WAS CAMERON IN ZURICH FOR ENGLAND'S WORLD CUP BID?

"THREE POOFS ON MY SHIRT"

Just why was the Prime Minister of GREAT BRITAIN in Zurich, twice to help the World Cup bid of ONE PART of this country.  Not only was he there on Tuesday, but he then flew home for PMQs and THEN FLEW BACK!  Should he not be running the country?

For that matter and for the same reason, why was Prince Willy there?  Not that it matters to me what he does.  As for his wedding, I would rather stick cocktail sticks in my eyes than watch it!  I'd have thought he'd have been a German supporter anyway, like his great uncle.

ENGLAND V GERMANY-A NATION HOLDS IT'S BREATH!

Right that's it!  The bastards have finally worn me down. 

It's a strange thing.  I watch English football all season.  I know the Rooneys, Lampards and Gerrards better than I know Scottish Premier League players.   We have our own Parliament now and it genuinely was my intention to cheer England on, at least to the Quarter Finals.  But THOSE FUCKING COMMENTATORS have finally done my head in.  Particularly, CLIVE TYLDSLEY.  There is no excuse he doesn't use to talk about England and the England team when he is commenting on a game, even if England aren't playing.  He even used the excuse the other day that the ball boy had been shown round Stamford Bridge by John Terry's brother, FFS!  That gave him the excuse to give us an update from the England camp, despite the fact we had been given one, five minutes before! Do they not know that commentators are supposed to be neutral, even when commenting on their own country's games?  Take for example, BILL McLAREN.  You never heard him mention Scotland if he was commenting on England v Wales.  Even when he was commenting on a Scotland game, his voice never changed when Scotland scored.  Some of the current fuckwits could learn a thing or two about how to do a commentary properly.

So England v Germany.  Who'll win?  It doesn't really matter, because neither of them are good enough to win the cup.  None of them have really exceptional players and there are too many average players in both teams.  But if Germany do win, a nation WILL EXHALE that breath and if your standing anywhere near Carlisle, the wind will blow you off your feet!

IT WOZ THE SUN WOT DUN IT!

ENGLAND VS ALGERIA- A WAR OF TWO NATIONS!

ENGLAND VS ALGERIA 18TH JUNE, 2010

A war of two nations - England and Algeria.

One of them, a fanatical Muslim country where bombers and terrorists are born and trained. Where tough Sharia Law is being implemented and white Christians are outcasts and live in constant fear for their lives.

The other is an African state.

h/t don't call me Dave

THE ENGLISH FOOTBALL TEAM ARRIVE HOME FROM WORLD CUP IN DISGRACE!

UPDATE:  I'VE JUST NOTICED THE STEWARDESS'S FACE.  WHAT'S THE BETTING, SOMEONE HAS STUCK THEIR HAND UP HER SKIRT!

The English Football Team have arrived back home from South Africa in disgrace, after only managing to finish in third place behind the qualifiers from the 'GROUP OF DEATH', Algeria and the United States.
England finished in third position after defeats from The United Stetes and Algeria and a 'boring' goal less draw with Slovenia saw them eliminated.
The Team had to suffer shouts at Heathrow airports from enraged fans like "Fuck off, you speccy tally bastard", "Rooney, you big eared twat", "Lampard, your cock's hanging out" and "Gerrard, you're a scouse fuckpig"  Even seasoned Journos were surprised by the viciousness of the shouts.  Team Manager, Fabio Crapello, explained to the fans, "you canna fuki off.  Mi and mi Bambini, we make quattro milliones of your English Ponds per month, so who is monkeyfuks now"!
The new favourites to win the competition are the Dominican Republic, who humiliated holders Spain, 7-0 and are now 2/15 with William Hill.