ENQUIRY DEMANDED-DANNY ALEXANDER CAUGHT SINGING EUROPEAN ANTHEM!

VISCOUNT'S DAUGHTER HARRIET HARMAN CALLS DANNY ALEXANDER A 'GINGER RODENT'!

A GINGER RODENT YESTERDAY

Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman has attacked the Liberal Democrats, branding Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent".

Ms Harman - a former equalities minister - made the comments at the Scottish Labour conference, in Oban.

DISGUSTING!  As a former equalities Minister she should know that ginger rodents have rights and feeling too.  I hope a ginger rodent sues her to the full extent of the law.  I wonder if Alexander could be the love child of Charles Kennedy and Hazel Blears?  Just asking!

I AM SLEEPING WITH WILLIAM HAGUE!

Tonight my fellow persons who deal in crap, I am going to sleep in the same room as WILLIAM HAGUE, just to test out this Gay shite.

Now we can only afford a TRAVELODGE because despite the fact that BIG DICK, (as I like to call him), is a multi-millionaire, it doesn't mean that we have to splash out on somewhere expensive.  Now, I'm writing this from the room.  I've already had a shower and brushed my teeth after our time in the bar and now DICK is getting titillated, sorry titivated.  Now before you say fuck all, we have separate beds although they are a bit close together for my liking.  If I feel the baldy twat's hand on my cock, he'll get a slap.  I was in a similar situation once with a pal of mine called Danny when we were working in N. Ireland.  After finding a hotel that wasn't going to get bombed, we got the last room in this place, but the beds, although separate, were a bit close together.  Anyway to cut a long story short, I awoke the next morning with a huge hard-on and as one does you give a wee rub to encourage it.  It was the biggest erection I had had in years.  Imagine my disappointment when I heard Danny say, "are you going to get your fucking hands off my cock"?

I believe Ffion is going to join us later and I have high hopes of a wee threesome.  As long as I don't have to shag BIG DICK and sorry GAY FOLLOWING, there is no way he's getting anywhere near my arse!

BREAKING SCANDAL-CGT CHEAT ALEXANDER IS A HETEROSEXUAL!

In SENSATIONAL NEWS, tonight, it has been revealed that not only is the new Chief Secretary to the Treasury a CGT CHEAT but he is also a HETEROSEXUAL!
Libthingy MP Alexander, although he is a SPECCY BASTARD WITH RED HAIR, has had normal sexual relations with his wife, (well apart from the handcuffs and romper suit incident) and indeed recently had a child.
PETER THATCHELL, the well known GAY CAMPAIGNER said last night, "I didn't realise there were any heterosexuals left in the LIBTHINGY party, but this sort of behaviour doesn't surprise me.  These people need to be weeded out.  Is he even Jewish"?  IAIN DALE, the prominent Gay blogger told D.L., "Christ I never realised he was straight.  I'll need to cancel those FUCKING T-SHIRTS NOW"!

MICHAEL MOORE NEW SCOTTISH SECRETARY!

Michael Moore is the new Scottish Secretary.  To paraphrase the old 'Smokie' hit 'Living Next Door to Alice', "Michael, Michael, who the FUCK IS MICHAEL"?

This Coalition thing is OK, but there are people getting promoted above their capabilities.  I mean Danny Alexander taking over from Laws at the Treasury!  Now I'm sure the boy is no numpty, but for fuck's sake, GIE US A BREAK!

There must be Libthingies all over the country, who thought they were on a nice wee earner, serving as a Libthingie MP for 30 years in a nice rural seat, SHITEING THEMSELVES in case they get promoted!  Anyway what's wrong with ALAN REID, MP for Argyll?  I went to school with him.  GIVE HIM A JOB!