Respected former European Golfer of the year,Colin 'Monti' Montgomerie remains the top choice to try to steer the country out of its debt woes as the head of a transitional government, but Berlusconi's allies remained split over whether to support him.
However, 'the happy one', at one time dubbed, 'Mrs Doubtfire', by those ignorant American wankers, is the very man who can drag them out of the shite.
"They'll be no more Bunga-Bunga parties" said Monti, "but I will carry on with the traditional Italian shagging, although I'm not sure if I will go as young as 17. I intend to bring in a law banning football, to punish the cheeky bastards for beating Scotland in qualifying for the last World Cup. Pasta eating will also be banned and instead I will be introducing the mutton pie and deep fried Mars bars. I will be shipping some of those arty pictures home for an exhibition in Govan, where the neds will be allowed to view them for nothing, in between glugs of Chianti, in order to confuse their sexual habits even more.
We will no longer be dictated to by that ugly Fraulein in Bonn and as a matter of fact if she can find an Italian man, it will be a miracle. Mind you a Scottish one would also be hard to find. In future all scores between Scotland and Italy, will be 8-2 to the home side and if Italy doesn't let Andy Murray win the Italian open, they'll be hell to pay Sorting out this lot will be a piece of pish, compared to winning the Ryder cup"!
